Kill Me, Heal Me – Episode 20 (Final)

It’s time for Do-hyun to part ways with his alters, one by one (NOOOOOOOO) and also for us to say goodbye to them, not to forget the characters who have been there (NOOOOOOOO) for the past two and a half months. Time goes by almost unnoticed (NOOOOOOOO), and farewell is inevitable at this point. Perhaps, I would have used Se-gi’s time-freezing method to make time stop, if he had any, but it was just a wish no one could have in this world (NOOOOOOOO). Yeah, I am okay. It’s the last episode. I am okay (NOOOOOOOO).

[Episode 20] (NOOOOOOOO)

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Ri-jin went straight to Dr. Seok in order to tell him about the new alter, and he remarked about X being possibly a helper made by Do-hyun as an effect of the treatment. But then, it was still unknown whether X would be helping or disturbing the treatment process for Do-hyun. Do-hyun went to his office but the one waiting for him there was X. Mr. X asked him only one question: would he like to open the bag? The image disappeared and Do-hyun realized that he had just experienced co-consciousness with the new alter.

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The experience did not sit too well with him, so Secretary Ahn decided to take him home before anything happened. Do-hyun calmed down and showed all the documents he had gathered and prepared for the shareholders’ meeting, proving that he was not slacking in his work, unlike what his secretary said to him before. Yeah, he was a model student back then! Secretary Ahn informed him about the progress of their investigation, and the driver who survived the accident had been contacted. The driver had explained that Jun-pyo was the one who brought him in as the driver, hinting that Jun-pyo was the instigator of the accident. The telltale headache sign went off but Do-hyun managed to put it under control, insisting that Secretary Ahn went to meet the driver first. He was left alone to let the new fact sink in: his father was the one who killed Ri-jin’s birth mother. Soon, the headache returned in full force.

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Ri-jin was walking towards the house when she saw Do-hyun, or to be exact, Yo-na (wearing the ribbon headband!), making her escape through the front door. The girl thought that she could fool Ri-jin and ran away, but Ri-jin managed to catch her red-handed, knowing too well where the bratty princess was heading to. Yo-na called out Mr. X’s name, knowing that Ri-jin would stop pestering her, but she won’t tell Ri-jin more about him. But then, she said that she’s a cool girl, and she could do ‘give and take out’, which Ri-jin corrected while chiding her (“It’s give and take, you ignorant wench!”).

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Ri-on was surprised to see Ri-jin back home all of a sudden without any notice, apologizing and vowing to atone for her sin, because she had just turn him into her sacrificial lamb by bringing home Yo-na with her. Owwww no. Ri-on was on high alert at the sound of the familiar, one and only ‘Oppa!’ coming out from Yo-na’s mouth, and Yo-na got Ri-on all to herself inside his room while Ri-jin could only apologize from the outside. The girl started serenading to Ri-on before lurching towards him, ready to give him a kiss to cheer him up. Ri-on then gave her a breaking news: he’s going to the army soon, and she shouldn’t wait for him.

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Yo-na was tearing up although it was just Ri-on’s ploy to get rid of her…but she knew that he was discharged from army back in 2010. LOL, he’s really underestimating the power of a stalker fan like Yo-na! She even had the document with her! Yo-na warned him not to lie to her anymore, and started snapping pictures of them together, forcing Ri-on to smile between her gritted teeth. She then kissed Ri-on and took some pictures before walking out of the room with delight.


Poor Ri-on looked like he had just been mauled by a female bear. Hahahahaha!

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After giving away her brother as her bait, Ri-jin wanted to hear what Yo-na knew about X, but Yo-na only said that Ri-jin had to be happy smiling brightly in order for X to disappear. Yo-na refused to share with Ri-jin more than that and chose Ri-jin’s bed as her landing place for the night. Ri-jin gave up and lied on the floor, but Yo-na suddenly called her.


Yo-na: Hey, you wench. Thank you. Thanks for treating me like a friend and a sister. Thanks for listening to my wish today. Anyhow, I’m thankful for everything. In my life, you’re the first person I met who’s good at fighting! Live well.

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Ri-jin realized that it was probably her farewell speech but Yo-na tried to hide her tears. Early in the morning, Yo-na was standing outside the house, looking at Ssangri with a sad face. Yo-sub was also there behind him, but he was urging her to come with him, because they needed to leave in order for Do-hyun and Ri-jin to be at peace. She was crying and darted away, before disappearing into the thin air. Yo-sub took his last glance at the bulding and quoted Valéry Paul’s Le Cimetière marin (The Graveyard By The Sea).


Yo-sub: Le vent se lève. Il faut tenter de vivre. (The wind rises. We must try to live.) Goodbye, noona. Thank you.

With that, the twins left..

..and Do-hyun woke up, with Yo-na’s headband in his hand. He folded her jacket carefully and stroked the name tag bearing the name “Ahn Yo-na” gently, as Ri-jin was trying to hide her sobbing face.

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But she was actually trying to get rid of the real last message left by Yo-na: the brand “violent wench” written on her forehead, and the girl even took a picture with sleeping Ri-jin. It turned out that Yo-na left while Ri-jin was asleep, and Ri-jin was so upset that the bratty Yo-na went away just like that. Do-hyun called her unni, teasing between his tears that she needed to wash off her ‘make up’.


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Do-hyun’s day had just started and he received another surprise: his father was finally regained his consciousness, but he didn’t tell anything to Ri-jin. He went back home by himself, still thinking about the fact that the assailant, his father Jun-pyo, was awake, and that person also caused Seo-yeon’s death. His headache attacked him again at the thought of the disturbing fact. Ri-jin went straight to Do-hyun’s house but he was nowhere to be seen around the house. She went to her room and saw a bump under her comforter.

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She pulled the comforter to reveal the teddy she bought as a present for Nana, and also Do-hyun hiding behind the large teddy..except that he seemed so different from his usual self. Ri-jin wondered why he was there in her room and when he waved the teddy’s hand at her, she knew it: he was not Do-hyun; she was Nana. Just like how the alter corrected Do-hyun before, she explained that the teddy’s name was Nana, but Ri-jin knew the girl’s name: Cha Do-hyun.

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Nana manifested into the image of little Ri-jin, and Ri-jin explained to her that she was the grown up version of her. She assured Nana that she had grown up well, receiving love from her parents, brother, and friends. Nana was no longer the girl locked in the basement, and she had received as much love as could. There’s something she wanted to say to Nana too, and now that she had met the girl, Ri-jin told her this..


Ri-jin: Back then, it’s not your fault that the man was mad at you. It wasn’t because you were bad or hateful; it was that man’s mistake. Do you know what I mean? So don’t get hurt, and don’t be afraid, okay? And you know, I will stay beside Mr. Cha from now it’s okay for you to leave now.

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Nana agreed to do so, but she asked for someone to go with her since she didn’t know where to go, and asked for Mr. X. Ri-jin wondered who X was, and Nana said that he was her father. Ri-jin then recalled another memory she had of the dark basement, where her younger self was wishing that her father would come and take her away from the room. Little Do-hyun sighed and said that her father had passed away, but corrected himself when little Ri-jin started to cry. He told her that her father was looking at her from the Heavens, protecting her no matter where she would be.

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Do-hyun woke up from his slumber and found himself buried under the big teddy, and Ri-jin was still there beside him. He knew that Nana was there earlier, but Ri-jin just gave him a big hug.

Ri-jin: Thank you. I’m sorry that your heart has broken into another piece because of me, but thank you..I think I know how painful it was for you. You’re really my saviour and my ray of light. It’s a relief that we get to meet again..because I get to thank you.

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There’s something Do-hyun had been keeping from Ri-jin, and he continued to be troubled over it..but he had started to be suspicious about his father’s involvement in the car accident. Someone appeared beside him in the bathroom..and it was Mr. X. He asked again, whether Do-hyun would like to open the bag and this time, Do-hyun nodded, agreeing to take the risk. The briefcase contained a small teddy, and X remarked that they could never guess what’s inside the bag before opening it. The fear was created out of one’s imagination, just like what Do-hyun was doing at that moment.

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X convinced him to find out the truth of the past instead of mulling over his own imagination. When asked about his role as Nana’s father, X just said that it was Do-hyun who created the role, and the reason why he looked more like a magician rather than a father was because of the kid’s imagination. X joked, saying that he’s still thankful that he wasn’t imagined as Superman. Hehehe! Do-hyun assured him that he would protect Ri-jin and become stronger, so he didn’t have to worry anymore. X was glad to hear it and smiled encouragingly at Do-hyun before disappearing.

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Do-hyun went to seek for the truth by going to meet his father at the hospital. Jun-pyo was still calling him his Jun-young, but Do-hyun wasn’t there to visit him. He didn’t wish to make his father from a assailant to a victim, so he thought that Jun-pyo should not pretend to be weak and act like a victim. He was there to ask Jun-pyo something: was he the one who planned Seo-yeon and Chairman Cha’s car accident back then? We didn’t get to hear his answer yet, but the Cha family members had a secret meeting regarding the appointment of chairman of the shareholders’ meeting.

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Ki-joon was the one challenging the appointment and Do-hyun knew that the reason was his DID, and Ki-joon stated that it could affect the shareholders’ trust in them. Do-hyun was willing to take the risk, but there’s something more important they had to discuss, and wondered if Young-pyo had anything he wanted to say regarding the car accident 21 years ago. Jun-pyo was the one who told Do-hyun the truth, and Young-pyo was the one who sent the new driver. But then, Jun-pyo covered everything about the accident despite knowing the truth because of his ambition to become the company’s Chairman, and joined forces with Young-pyo. If that’s not enough of a weakness, Do-hyun presented to Chairman Seo every single evidence pertaining Young-pyo’s secret transaction using the company’s money, including funds for his wife’s gallery.

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Ki-joon must be fuming at his father for throwing off his chance to get the company, but Young-pyo offered to cover Do-hyun’s issues in return of covering his crimes. Do-hyun didn’t want to accept the offer, because he got nothing to lose if people were to find out about his illness, but Young-pyo could face jail sentence. Chairman Seo had the final word, thinking that they needed to discuss it further with other personnel to decide on the future of Seungjin. The father-son pairing left the meeting room, and Chairman Seo told Do-hyun that he would be the company’s only successor. She wished to leave Seungjin under his care, because he’s Cha Do-hyun..and the real monsters were the other people. She’s willing to wait until he finished his treatment, and she would protect the company in his stead while he’s receiving his treatment overseas.

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Secretary Ahn had found out that Ri-jin went to meet Jun-pyo because of Madam Shin’s request, and Do-hyun couldn’t even leave the office when the headache attacked him. The first thing Jun-pyo said to Ri-jin after seeing her was how much she resembled her mother, before kneeling in front of her. He wanted to beg for his forgiveness, but he’s grateful that she’s still alive. Se-gi made his appearance and crashed the not-so-happy reunion party, with the intention of letting Jun-pyo know the only way he could beg for forgiveness from Ri-jin. He choked Jun-pyo, warning him to die faster and disappear from the world. Jun-pyo then realized that the violent man in front of him and the kid who started the fire was not his Jun-young, but it was Se-gi.

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Ri-jin managed to tear off Se-gi from Jun-pyo and told the old man that he shouldn’t beg for their forgiveness. She said that even if she would forgive him, it was for Se-gi/Do-hyun’s sake, who had lived his life atoning his father’s sins and begging for her forgiveness while protecting her. Ri-jin told Jun-pyo to just wait and took Se-gi out of the room, telling him to run away with her.


Ri-jin: You know..Mr. Shin, do you have something you wish to have? I chose some gifts for the other alters, but strangely, I couldn’t choose one for you. Tell me, do you have anything you want to have?

Se-gi: You will never be able to give it to me.

Ri-jin: What is it?

Se-gi: You.

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They stopped by somewhere to play with the sparklers and Ri-jin decided to ask Se-gi something: who’s prettier between her and the sparkler? Se-gi chose the sparkler and this guy didn’t know how to be romantic at all. Kekekekeke! Se-gi was thinking about staying beside her forever if he could, but he knew it so well that she’s wishing for him to disappear. She told him that he was the first person to treat her words as law, and now that she’s seeing an alter as a proper person, Se-gi thought that he would need more time to make her see him as a man.

Ri-jin apologized for calling him out in the first place and causing him to be created, but he changed the topic: so what’s her gift for him then?

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Ri-jin take a step closer towards Se-gi and kissed him, since it’s the only gift she could think of for him after receiving so much from him. Awwwww. She made a great choice, because Se-gi himself praised her before going in for another kiss. Ri-jin recalled all the things he said to her: his wish to stay beside her forever, his wish to run away from the terrifying memories together with her, and his wish not to disappear.

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Inside his mind, Do-hyun wondered if Se-gi wasn’t going to leave but Se-gi called him an idiot, saying that he’s going to do so, since Do-hyun regained his memories and he’s not needed anymore. Do-hyun tried to coax him with the fact that he would still be alive inside him, except that the body and the time belonged to Do-hyun alone. He asked for Se-gi to help him when he need him, but Se-gi refused to do so, since he won’t even get to use Do-hyun’s time and body. Se-gi reminded him that he would return if Do-hyun ever become fearful of the world again, so he should live well.


“Oy, Mr. Shin!”



“I your life well.”

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Do-hyun opened his eyes and Ri-jin was in front of him, crying at the sight of him and Se-gi’s disappearance. Her tears won’t stop and Do-hyun wiped her tears, before leaning in for a kiss.



One year later…

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Ri-jin resumed her residency at Kanghan Hospital and she was still her usual self, greeting her patients like they were her friends. She saw something on the newspaper: a promotion about Omega’s new book (which already became a bestseller) guess what, Kill Me, Heal Me! It was about the love story of a patient with personality disorder and a doctor. Hmmmm…that sounded so familiar, and Ri-jin recalled Ri-on’s denial of being someone who used other people’s life to make money. You’re so dead, Oh Ri-on! Wahahaha!

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Ri-on was hanging out in the bookstore, as always, looking at his novels and reached for the book at the same time with a pretty lady (cameo by SNSD’s Yuri!). She wanted to have that book because of the secret message included in it, and the smitten Ri-on let her have it (of course). He wondered if she’s a fan of Omega, and the lady wished to see Omega’s face even once, who was said to resemble Won Bin. Pffffttttt way to boost his ego, because Ri-on brought out his pen and gave it to the lady, saying that it belonged to Omega. The lady offered to buy him a cup of coffee and Ri-on introduced himself as Oh Hwi, his playboy pen name. And the lady?


Her name was AHN. YO. NA. Oh, the lipstick, the hand gesture, and the hairband!


Yeah, Ri-on predicted it well that he would be ruined in this life, because as if his traumatic experience with the original Yo-na was not enough, there’s a real life Yo-na who’s there to pester him. Hahahahaha!

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What about Do-hyun? Well, he’s happily chopping firewood for Ssangri but that didn’t last for too long, because Daddy Oh knocked hi head from behind, criticizing his work (“Are making chopsticks?) and sighing that the young man couldn’t do any work. LOL! He went to complain about Do-hyun to Mama Ji, but Do-hyun’s future mother-in-law thought that Do-hyun’s look attracted more female customers to their restaurant nowadays. Daddy Oh wanted to find another part-time worker but Mama Ji knew that Ri-jin would be angry if she found out about it. Mama Ji was thinking of marrying off Ri-jin to Do-hyun, but Daddy Oh didn’t want to give away his only daughter to a man who had been jobless for a year.

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Oh, if only you knew that the Perry you knew was a chaebol..and Do-hyun seemed to keep his real identity a secret from the parents! He received a call from Secretary Ahn..who was no longer a Section Chief, but a Senior Managing Director! Director Ahn was doing the office work in Do-hyun’s stead for the time being and wondered when Do-hyun would be making his return to Seungjin. Do-hyun wished to live in Ssangri for a little longer (since he’s supposed to be overseas), because he felt happy there. Director Ahn promised to visit Do-hyun during the weekend, but he would never drink the beer brewed by Do-hyun again. Seeing how bad he was with every task, I bet his first brew didn’t go well. Hehehehe!

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Do-hyun spent his afternoon lazing under the sun at the park (no wonder he loved living there) and Ri-jin joined him afterwards, lying beside him on the ground. He brought out a small box and showed the rings to Ri-jin. Ohhh were those couple rings? Awwwwwh! Ri-jin thought that couple rings were the sweetest handcuffs, and she exclaimed that she had just been handcuffed.


“Everyone has their own dark basement in his heart. Ignoring and and just watching him will only make the darkness grow. Lend your courage and turn the light on. If being alone terrifies you, it’s okay to hold someone’s hands.  It won’t be scary if I’m with you.”




Thank you, thank you, and thank YOU.

Sorry for the delay. I just..couldn’t seem to write faster, hoping that it won’t come to an end…but it did.

20 episodes have never felt so short, but the torture of waiting every week was crazy. It was probably a fated encounter with this drama in my case, because I checked out the first episode out of curiosity, and completely fell for Kill Me, Heal Me’s charms. Was it love at the first sight? I have never experienced such kind of love, so it could be. Hehehehe! The comedy, the romance, and the pain..all of them make this drama even more enjoyable, and I can’t imagine the show without any of those.

At first, the drama focuses on the multiple personalities and the disorder experienced by Do-hyun, and I’m glad to see it being treated, as much as a drama can be. Yes, it’s still a drama after all, not a documentary, but the focus on Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) in this series might spark some interest in the disorder among the viewers. Although it requires some suspension of disbelief when it comes to portrayal of the disorder itself, it’s up to the viewers to educate themselves more about what they watch, and perhaps, become more aware of the silent killers which are as harmful as the physical illnesses: mental illnesses.

DID experienced by Do-hyun stemmed from the abuse experienced by him and Ri-jin when they were young. Although Ri-jin was the one receiving the physical abuse, Do-hyun was mentally abused, with the thought that everything happened because of him, and he had to be responsible. What would responsibility mean to a 7-year old kid? Perhaps, Se-gi’s way of assuming responsibility by burning down the basement can be viewed as how desperate he was for him to risk everything – even his own life – in order to save his friend. Thus, began the long life of Jun-young, or later Do-hyun, as a guy living his life being cautious all the time.

[+] Okay, I think I will continue to cry if I just sit here doing nothing, so I might as well spill my thoughts :’)


As expected, Se-gi was the last alter to disappear, and while I thought that the alters might stay around for a bit longer, the drama decided to show all the farewell with the alters to us. As a result…TEARS everywhere (at least in my room). I think that there were few reasons why he could accept that he’s no longer a separate entity, but a part of Do-hyun. First, he could see how strong Ri-jin had become, even in front of her assailant, Jun-pyo. In fact, Se-gi was actually weaker in terms of his emotions, because he couldn’t stop himself from lashing out at Jun-pyo. The ward scene was probably a turning point for both Se-gi and Ri-jin: he was the one who tried protecting her from his father back then, and in the present, Ri-jin was the one who protected Se-gi from hurting himself even more. Moreover, she saw him as another person with wounds and scars, not just a burden. Perhaps, that was the only thing he had hoped for: to hear the person he cherished the most to acknowledge him and his existence. Because he existed for her.


Second was of course, Do-hyun. Do-hyun might have treated Se-gi as an unwanted baggage before he realized the truth, thinking that the alter was out to wreck his life. Se-gi, on the other hand, viewed Do-hyun as a useless coward who would hide when he encounter any difficulties. They were like two people in misunderstanding, and getting Se-gi to see how strong Do-hyun had become, not to forget having Do-hyun to acknowledge that Se-gi was a part of him – the most wounded and jaded of them all – helped a lot in integrating Se-gi back into Do-hyun’s soul. They were in agreement that they were indeed the one and only Cha Do-hyun, and both of them wished for the best in terms of their life.


Yo-sub was indeed the smartest among the alters, because he could sense that the farewell was looming around and bid his goodbye earlier than others. I’d like to think that he was the one who sent Yo-na out for the last time, and Yo-na didn’t only go to Ri-on because he was his crush. She probably could sense Do-hyun’s apologetic feelings towards Ri-on, and the song she sung to Ri-on (while locking his knees between her) was her own way of comforting him after the heartbreak. Ah, bratty princess Yo-na. Seeing Yo-na left after thanking Ri-jin for treating her like a real sister and then pranking her was so like her, and she deserves all the kisses with Ri-on.

The partings with the alters was the hardest for Ri-jin, because she was the one who met them, interacted with them, got to know them, and cared for them. Do-hyun might be the one with the alters, but he didn’t really encounter them directly like Ri-jin. It was probably like sending away friends you cherished far, far away…and it was just like us, bawling and crying and screaming to part with this show. But then, that did not mean that Do-hyun was less affected, because he did feel the emptiness, now that his ‘neighbours’ inside his heart had moved. But he knew that they’re still there inside him, and he had to live his life to the fullest, just like each and every alter of him did.


I have a feeling that the scene where Nana appeared was probably shot when Ji Sung lost his voice during the filming, but it turned out for the better. It was a powerful scene, giving Ri-jin the chance to comfort Nana, and also her younger self, telling them that she had survived and was living well. It was a great comfort, not just for them, but also for everyone with problems. This too shall pass, and tomorrow will come. Like what Ri-jin experienced, she didn’t lose hope and gained lots of love after what she experienced in the past.


No one could have guessed that X was actually an alter created to be Nana’s father, and I can only imagine how hard it was for Do-hyun for him to break himself like that out of guilt. I am a bit sad that X appeared only for a short while, not only because he’s so handsome wearing that hat, but because of his words of wisdom. He felt like a voice of reason for Do-hyun, and it would be nice to see (or hear) his voice from somewhere in the middle of the story, giving him advice. X’s demeanor reminded me of Ferry, probably because both of them were the fathers. To think that he actually went to Ri-jin first thing after he appeared, I kind of wishing that he could meet Ri-jin even once.

Yeah, I can’t say that this drama is perfect, because is there such thing as a perfect drama? Maybe close to perfection, but nothing is perfect. What matters the most is that the drama has managed to touch thousands, ten thousands, or even millions of hearts with its own heart, and that is one of the strongest points of this drama. Writer Jin Soo-wan did a great job portraying various issues in a light drama; PD Kim Jin-man directed the show to give us a healing drama; the staff who worked days and nights for the sake of meeting the schedule; and not to forget, the cast who made everything possible for this drama to receive lots of love and attention. Thank you so much Ji Sung for your amazing, awesome, extraordinary (and more) acting you showed this time. Cha Do-hyun, Shin Se-gi, Ferry Park, Ahn Yo-sub, Ahn Yo-na, Nana, and Mr X would never be the same without you, and you’re really fated to become Cha Do-hyun. Thank you Hwang Jung-eum for picking up this drama even when you’ve just completed your previous drama back then, giving us the kickass performance as Oh Ri-jin. I can’t imagine another actress in this role, and you made everything better through your awesome chemistry with Ji Sung. And Park Seo-joon…thank you for choosing this project even when you deserve a lead role, and I am proud to see your character Oh Ri-on coming alive as the best brother a female lead can have, and the best second lead a drama can have.

And now…how about a drama adapted from Ri-on’s novel, entitled Kill Me, Heal Me? Maybe I should rewatch everything from the beginning, just to relive the magic on 7th January 2015 at 10 PM.




39 thoughts on “Kill Me, Heal Me – Episode 20 (Final)

  1. Lovely Lovely Lovely recap!

    Especially liked your “NOOOOOOOOOOOO”‘s

    Thanks for all the words and all your time and love for the drama – which will definitely be in my Top 5. Not because it was the most subtle of all the shows, but it so much heart, and all that Ji Sung to love!
    Shin Se-gi LIVES!

    1. Aren’t we all wishing that it will never end? I think this drama will be one to watch when I want to laugh, cry, or both :’)

      P/s: thanks for the message over at the twitter 😉

      1. You are welcome and I wish I could start over from the beginning pretending I have never seen this before! I wonder what shows Yona would be asked to be in if she were real.

        He really really really should do a feature film based on these personalities.

  2. Thank you for your faster recap.
    Actually i always waiting for your recap. But now KMHM is over. I love this drama, and not wanna let it go. ;(

  3. Thank you for recapping this amazing drama, and for freaking out with all of us every week. It’s so bittersweet coming to the end.

    Objectively speaking, I didn’t think the ending was that strong. There were a lot of lose ends: What happened to the Dad, where is he? Do they ever see him? What is Do Hyun’s mom doing? Chae Yeon? Ki Joon? When are Ri Jin’s parents going to find out that Do Hyun was the little boy from her childhood? Did grandma ever find out that Ri Jin was Do Hyun? Anyway, a lot of questions.

    BUT, none of them matter! Because I adored and loved everything that was included in this last episode. It was a bittersweet closure, and I spend the episode crying straight through it. (I sobbed out loud when Se Gi left. I still consider him my favourite!).

    I like to think that Do Hyun and Ri Jin lived happily ever after and had lots of babies that they showered with the love they missed as children, and that Do Hyun eventually ruled over the Seungjin Group and kicked ass! I will also chose to believe that Ri On will end up with a real Ahn Yo Na because I need to keep her spirit alive!!

    I think it is safe to say the drama became my all time favourite kdrama, really. Ji Sung and Hwang Jung Eum cemented themselves in my heart as my favourite drama couple, but I do have one question: when are they doing their next drama together!!!?

    And for Ji Sung I don’t need to say anything else. All the critical acclaim and love he received for the roles says everything. I always loved him, but with this drama he just blew me away. And I only realized now towards the end how physically different he looked for KMHL. So much thiner and smaller, it’s amazing what an outstanding job he’s done. I bow down.

    Sigh. I will now go back to the beginning and watch it all over again, to laugh and to cry and to start my withdrawal. At least you still have Secret to watch and take solace in Mimi! Enjoy it! You should definitely write about it! We’ll geek out over it together. 🙂

    I had to much fun ranting about this drama with you! xo ❤ ❤ ❤

    1. i think this drama have a OPEN ENDING, with secretary Ahn become a Director, we just guess what happen with seungjin family, but the story goal in this drama is when Cha Do Hyun and Oh Ri Jin can heal each other and live forward, so if there’s a KMHM season 2, maybe its time when Cha Do Hyun and Oh Ri Jin face a new problem with the seungjin family

      1. maybe we can just have KMHM special episode just like jdrama always do to explain what happen with the other characters and showing how both dohyun and rijin faces the problem with Seungjin family and having a loootttsss of babies rather than having KMHM season 2 because i can’t sacrifice my tears anymore for them!!!hahaha..

  4. Thank you so much for your dedication throughout this series. I can’t thank you enough for the fast and insightful recaps. And especially for this platform that you’ve created for us to gather around to celebrate our love for this show.

    So many thoughts going through my head that I want to share. But they’re all in an incoherent mess. Maybe I’ll start with this – this finale blew me away. I was so worried that they will be fitting too much into one episode. And that it would feel too rushed and wouldn’t wrap nicely. I’d hate it if the entire drama was so fantastic but ended off with a haphazard work. I was so glad with how it turned out. I couldn’t have been more pleased. Kudos to the writer, director and our awesome actors (and everyone behind the scenes) who made this drama come alive.

    I initially wanted the power struggle in the company to be given more time. I thought the plot needed more space to be executed properly. But I was pleasantly surprised at how it turned out. I surprised myself by feeling like the 5 minutes (I didn’t really time. But yea, around that amount of time.) given to Ki Joon and Cha Young-pyo was sufficient. We don’t have to see the entire fight play out in detail. Just from that scene alone, it was enough to know who won. While I don’t think Cha Young-pyo will just take the situation as it is and will attempt to fight back, it does seem like he has no more useful cards that he can play. Moreover, this power struggle isn’t the main focus of the story. So I was kinda glad that they kept it to a minimum.

    I was satisfied with Chae-yon and Ki Joon’s ending also. I didn’t think the drama needs to put them back together. I was worried that they’ll end up together. That’s a scene that might make me uncomfortable for some odd reason. Perhaps because it’ll feel too forced? Like everyone needs to end up with someone.

    Another thing I was worried over was Mr X’s short appearance. I was upset over his introduction this late into the series. But I guess I could now understand why. His timely appearance now kind of makes sense. I’ll accept that much.

    The Ri-on and real life Yoo-na twist was hilarious haha. I loved it so much. Aw, doesn’t Ri-on miss Ahn Yoo-na even just a little?

    I like that Do-hyun ended up at Ssangri. It seemed like the perfect place to properly heal. That is the place where Ri-jin went through her healing process too. Initially, I was a little disappointed that mama and papa Oh did not end up knowing Do-hyun’s true identity (as the heir to Seungjin group, Ri-jin’s childhood playmate, and the chaebol Ri-jin was working for). But I ended up understanding that Do-hyun probably just wanted to live a normal life and keep his real identity hidden just for the time being. Although I feel like the Oh parents will still accept him with open arms regardless and treat him just as they how they treat their own kids.

    I love love love this drama so much. I literally had to hold my heart together last night when watching the raw version to keep it from falling apart. This is such a well executed show with so many amazing layers to it. How, just how am I gonna get through the week from now on? I’m being ridiculously emotional. Gawd.

    Thank you once again for your amazing recaps. Do get some rest! Hopefully we’ll be able to go on such a journey together again with another amazing drama. 🙂

  5. I squealed, I laughed, I cried, then I was obsessed about it. I stalked every forum, read every recaps, watch the parodies & behind the scene, collect the fan art & meme, woke up early so I could watch the drama and rerun again. (sigh I need to get back my real life soon)

    Now that this show end, I love it and will treasure this as the drama that wake up my inner fan girl side that had been dormant for along time. 😀

    Thank you so much for the recaps….
    Hopefully we could find and watch another drama in the future like this again…;)

  6. Thank you for your recaps for this great show. I was worried about the ending and I thought it was good healing ending. This is one of my favorite dramas. I loved all the characters and it was such a great cast. I will miss the anticipation of waiting for the next episode. I am also thankful that I was able to express my feelings about this show and share them as well as enjoying reading others opinions of this show that we were so excited about here on your blog.

  7. Awesome recap. Especially ypur ending gave me chills and kinda brought tears to my eyes!!! I’ll always remember the 7th of January at 10 PM!!

  8. I really hope this isn’t the last drama we see with these two leads. They do have such wonderful chemistry together. While Ji Sung also played a tortured hero in “Secret” (albeit not nearly as challenging a role as this one), Hwang Jung Eum’s characters were completely different between the two shows. I’d love to see more dramas with these two playing the OTP.


    I’m satisfied with the ending because this drama is about healing Do-hyun, and the script sticks to that to the end while keeping minimal focus on company politics. I wonder how Do-hyun feels about his mom though, but I guess he heard all he needed to hear during that confrontation after Ri-jin’s kidnapping. And of course I was willing Joon-pyo NOT to sit up because there is no way a person in coma for 21 years can sit up straightaway with relative ease without months of physiotherapy, let alone speak. So I told myself: thisisadrama.thisisadrama.

    I can’t help but feel sad (and yes, I cried) when the personalities left one by one. I mean, we know it’s all Do-hyun but to have a drama affect you that way, it’s the trifecta: writing, acting and directing. It still amazes me how each personalities are so different (even Nana’s gaze) and it never gets old to say this: Ji-sung is brilliant. His chemistry with Hwang Jung-eum is awesome. And I love Ri-jin for her steadfast love and support.

    And I really love the ending where they just lie down on the grass, basking in sunshine, wearing normal clothes (as in non-fancy clothes. Ri-jin just wore hoodies and sneakers. Hee.) and just enjoying life free of trauma of the past. <3. Just ❤

  10. Are we will not see dohyun and rijin again next week?NOOOOOOOO!!!monday will become blues again after this without KMHM since we not eager to welcome wednesday just like before..TT TT
    thx @mimi for your hardworking all this time..we really appreciate it ❤ back to my bed and crying a river again then sleep with hope get to see dohyun and rijin in my sweet dream*

  11. First thing first, thank you @mimi for the fast and wonderful recap for the past 20 episodes. I joined in the fun late but I’m happy to be part of your commentator. And I’d like to give a short shout-out to everyone who’s been here and equally loving this drama (I’m just typing as I recall, sorry to those I didn’t mention!), glad to have read and talk to you guys: @zk @jomo @hpfansgirl @Liting @somebodytolove @moonsorin @Mrs Denny Lee @ Lea @Aoi @Dongwookie

    @mimi I woke up early this morning to read your recap as usual, but it wasn’t up until I went to work. I was kind of bummed (I know I was the one who told you we’d wait patiently for the recap!) and I know how hard it must’ve been for you to stay up late for the recap (thank you again for your hard work!), as luck would have it, I was swamped at work all day! When I finally had the time to catch up with your recap, I had a brain freeze where my mind literally went blank, so I decided to watch the final episode before I comment. I have so much love for this drama, it’s just so hard to part with it. Strangely, I was fine all day yesterday even as I was stalking on soompi and reading the live recaps. I guess it didn’t hit me at the time that it had finally ended. It only hit me when Jisung and Hang Jungeum appeared on the epilogue and bid us goodbye. cries

    On to my thoughts on the final two episodes, honestly they left a lot to be desired, and I was less emotionally invested as I was during the finding memories phase. I read everyone’s comment about crying while watching, I did shed a few tears, but I was emotionally disconnected. The ending felt rushed, and the pace was poorly executed from the onset. Initially I wasn’t bothered by the overused flashbacks because I get that they were supposed to build up tension for when the secret was finally let out, but then they started to replace precious times that could have been used to develop the 7th personality or other characters, that I started to take exception to them. This drama has been awesome, but far from perfect (what a contradiction!). In fact, if I were to nitpick at everything, I’d probably drop it (not! because my favourite OTP is on it). I’m glad that a lot of people have been forgiving and accepting of its faults, but I can’t help feeling the pacing of this drama stained its awesomeness a little bit.

    Arguably, we had seven personalities (well six to be exact since one was only shown at the end) to get to know and deal with, but it took the secrets too long to be uncovered and it affected the flow. I think it showed during the last two episodes, especially when we were only introduced of X in the final episode and his character seemed to be inconsistent to his poster shoots character (he didn’t look like a magician in the poster shoots). I had a high expectation of X because of his mysterious aura, and I was really let down to learn he was yet another alter created out of guilt for Rijin. The scene where Dr. Seok was telling Rijin about an inner self helper altar, I kind of wished they had gone with that route and created a much more effective character for X, which of course, would only be possible if they executed the pacing well.

    I don’t care much for the company’s power play, but I do feel Kijoon and Chaeyeon’s characters were wasted on this drama, they were ineffective as villains and bland with no actual characters’ growth. Another one being Cha Junpyo, why do they even woke him up if they weren’t going to give him a proper ending? I’d really love to see his redemption and Dohyun’s chance of getting back the father he longed for all these years. It was a nice touch to see a glimpse of what could have been Junpyo’s image in Perry but I’d still love for the father and son to reconcile after 21 years of pain. Again, the pace ruined the chance.

    One thing I do appreciate is that, while everyone viewed Dohyun’s DID as a liability/weakness, it was not the same for Rijin. I guess that’s what makes Dohyun fell harder for her, because she saw him differently. No one was sadder than Rijin to have said goodbyes to all Dohyun’s alters, and she bonded with them well over the course of the drama. I know a lot of people were sad to watch Segi go, but I was really happy when Segi and Dohyun started sharing memories and Dohyun showing signs of Segi in his behaviour. And the moment when they acknowledged they were one and the same? It was perfect for me. It broke my heart when Segi said that Rijin was finally seeing him as a person instead of a personality, Segi wanted strongly to be set apart from Dohyun yet he couldn’t help being associated to him because he’s the broken part of Dohyun, it’d be hard define his character because he had so much more depth than the other alters and he fought hard to exist as a person and a man to Rijin, he had a complexity that’s worth exploring but ultimately since he shared one body with Dohyun, the integration was the only choice, but the good thing is they loved the same woman!

    Despite it all, I do love the ending for our OTP, it’s sweet and light, totally befitting their characters and relationship in this drama. Ideally I’d wanted them to end up being married (considering they didn’t in ‘Secret’), but realistically I love the idea that Dohyun was ‘handcuffing’ Rijin to him, claiming her as his woman (imo) and it brought much more feel to me than a thousand words. I definitely could watch the two of them being happy for a few episodes more, sadly no talk of extention was ever entertained. I really hope these two get to work with each other in other drama, I’ve never been so hung up on an on-screen pairing like this before. I loved them in ‘Secret’, and even more in ‘Kill Me Heal Me’. Honestly if it had not been for Jisung and Hwang Jungeum’s pairing, I don’t think this drama would have held up.

    It’s been a great journey of healing, ‘Kill Me Heal Me’. I will never forget chu~

    1. Nice to know you too @mary..your long comment is always interesting to’s always make me think more about this drama..let’s hope they will do another drama together again after this and our lovely @mimi will do the recap for their drama and us as usual become a commenter here…hehehe

  12. Thank you for your recaps, thank you for everything <3. I really enjoy this drama and now I´m feeling a little empty 😦 . Ji Sung and Hwang Jung Eum are amazing and I love them both.
    This week was a little hectic a lot of work in the office and I couldn´t read or watch the drama, just today I could enter and read your recaps, they we awesome :D. My boss is reading right now, hehehe. He´s going to suffer of abstinence very soon. OOPPSS, is my fault. Hope you pick your new proyect soon.
    Read you soon. Take care. ❤

  13. There is something I am confused about if anyone can help I would appreciate it. From the subtitles the car accident was planned by KiJoon’s dad. So originally it was supposed to be a fender bender that would just delay the chairman grandpa and ORJ’s mom from leaving the country concerning a contract. But a real fatal accident occurred that was not connected to the uncle’s plan? And the dad covered up the Uncle’s part in it to save the company?
    I am confused because the subtitles weren’t clear to me.
    And sorry if I just missed this but what was the contract for? I suppose this trip was the one ORJ’s mom had to go on when she called Mama Oh to get ORJ.

    1. You got the first part right, Kijoon’s dad only planned to delay Chairman Cha and Min Seyeon’s flight by taking a detour route, but the accident happened unexpectedly. Kijoon’s dad offered a deal to Cha Junpyo, to cover his part in the car accident with the position of Chairman, and Junpyo blinded by his greed took the offer. Plus with a scandal of a possible manslaughter, Seungjin group stocks would go down, that’s why Junpyo decided to cover it up.

      I’m not sure which contract you meant?

      1. Thank you for your help! In the subs I watched CDH dad says “with the motive to cancel the contract he (the uncle) meant to delay those two from leaving the country”
        I really wish I knew Korean!

        1. You’re welcome! I watched in the same sub too, I think. But I kind of figured it out in between the lines what he was saying (I have limited understanding of Korean dialogue). Chairman Cha and Min Seyeon were probably trying to secure some sort of deal/partnertship and on their way to sign a contract overseas, so Kijoon’s dad meant to foil the plan (possibly to ruin their track record as the power people of Seungjin group), but then the accident happened. I’m glad that it was simply an accident, because I don’t think puppy could’ve handled having his dad tore his heart open again. Then again, it could have been a greater reason for our OTP seperation (than Dohyun’s guilt over his father’s abuse on little Rijin), alas I don’t think they had the time to plan it well, and the pacing was already a mess. Anyway, I’ve been missing Rijin and Dohyun again. goes to watch their happy moment again

  14. It was tears everywhere in your room and our living room hahaha. I never thought that saying goodbye to the personalities and the drama itself would be this hard and sad. I cried to each personality’s farewell scene. But no regrets, just goes to show how much heart this show has and how much it touched us viewers.

    I also think that there were pretty much a lot of loose endings on each character/side story but I think I prefer it that way. If they wrapped each and every one of those then that would’ve been I don’t know too convenient? And also the whole healing process, that Do Hyun is still not taking over the Seung Jin group is okay. Healing is sure not done fast so I’m glad they showed that he’s taking his time and finally living freely.

    I won’t say I am disappointed with Mr.X cause his origin (lol) is very touching but yeah I think we all had a different idea of him when the drama started.

    Congrats to Ji Sung because he did such a wonderful performance as Do Hyun and the alters. I never thought he would take a character(s) like this one in KMHM but of course he blew us all away with his acting prowess. And Hwang Jung Eum, you made Oh Ri Jin so loveable, great job! I am very much looking forward on seeing both actors together again (cmon kdrama gods, grant us that simple wish, please don’t make us wait for so long hahaha).

    Thanks so much for the wonderful recaps mimi! You were so great providing us explanations and trivias about the drama. And all the other commenters as well, I enjoy reading what you all got to say. Until our next drama crack! 😀

  15. i was so busy with examens but i’ve read all you recaps but never had the time to put a comment ! I really wanted to thank you for recapping and fangirling and sharing all your thoughtd with us !

    Kill me heal me was the nicest ride for me since the taiwanese drama ” in time with you “..
    It wasn’t perfect , but loving it with all its imperfections

    Rarely a drama with so much secrets and conflicts don’t make it all about the side story but actually make it all about the OTP ! and what an OTP it was! ❤ ❤

    i cried my eyes out when Perry left and i never thought my feels would be deeper over him and Yo Na leaving than Se gi ! but it was the case for me !

    I got teary by the end of ep 20 , but reading you recap made me actually cry ! I’ll miss this drama very VERY much!

    Drama awards give Ji Sung all the awards possible , he was terrific !

  16. Tears are flowing from my heart not from my eyes… Felt your emotions while reading your thoughts 🙂

    Thank you for sharing it!

    I cannot imagine if the male lead is not #JiSung.. he can rest well with his lovely and supportive wife while waiting for their li’l angel hihihi can’t wait!

    Congratulations Team KMHM!

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