Kill Me, Heal Me – Episode 16

Brace yourself, for this hour does not seem like an easy one for the faint-hearted fans, including me. Tears seem to be endless for episode 15 and I can’t imagine what will happen if this episode is going to grind my heart with all the torture and sadness. Will there be an end to their suffering of 21 years? And the most important thing: how will Ri-jin process all the memories when they come and hit her all at once?

[Episode 16]

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000024651 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000032575

The trip day was here and Do-hyun got dressed up before looking at his reflection on the mirror, practicing his smiles. Although his eyes were enough to show how heartbroken he was, he managed to break into a weak smile for the trip. Ri-jin started taking selcas on her phone and she even recorded a video for Do-hyun, mimicking the video Se-gi made for him when he first returned to the country. Do-hyun saw the toy train peeking from inside the box and it reminded him of the toy trains he shared with little Ri-jin back then.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000097640 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000222222

Off they went to ride the Snow Flower Train, with Do-hyun writing something in his notebook since they boarded the train. Ri-jin was curious about it and managed to snatch the book away from Do-hyun’s grab, before realizing that he had been listing his favourite things, as if he’s reporting his whole personal information to her. He did it because he thought that the Q&A session would be too long, so he wrote it down for her. Heh, so thoughtful of him. She saw an interesting detail in the list and the started to play a game, in which Do-hyun did terribly at. I think she was testing the thing he said he couldn’t do, and Ri-jin had a field day hitting Do-hyun as the game’s punishment. Kekeke! It was the first time she met a person that would be so bad at playing simple games like those, and Do-hyun’s complaint reminded her of Se-gi. She didn’t tell him the details and hit his head instead of his arm before they rushed to get off at the station.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000241108 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000250433

The postcards left behind by them on the train read: “Cha Do-hyun and Oh Ri-jin’s couple trip. Remember. 26.02.2015” and “Oh la oh la~ It feels good! Ri-jin is excited! ❤ The happy moment with Cha Do-hyun. Thank you for keeping the promise. 26.02.2015.”

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000284823 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000313128

They walked down the road and headed towards a river, as Ri-jin told Do-hyun about something she dreamed about: she made a promise with a certain child that they would go for a trip together to a faraway place with the train when they grew up. She had never told Ri-on about the dream because she was sure that Ri-on would say that the other child was him, but she knew that it wasn’t her brother. She was about to ask Do-hyun if the kid could be him, but she nearly slipped off the slippery rock and Do-hyun caught her from falling, before teasing her. Nice catch, indeed.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000373028 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000407438

Chairman Seo learned about Madam Shin’s effort to find a child and that’s not all; Young-pyo’s side had also made a move and that included bringing some of the directors who were once the chairman’s allies to his side. Her secretary thought that she should use Do-hyun as her guarantee just like she always did, and that she should bring her grandson back into the company. She scolded the secretary for daring to teach her how to act but unknown to her, Madam Shin was eavesdropping to their conversation. Madam Shin went to visit Young-pyo’s house with an intention, and Young-pyo assured her that he would not abandon Do-hyun who had been guarding Seungjin like a faithful dog all this while, implying that she should leave everything to him. She wasn’t going easy at all, suggesting that he made Do-hyun as the person responsible for the department store and the car manufacturing business under Seungjin. Madam Shin was very confident, because she had the card that Young-pyo won’t be able to refuse…

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000489245 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000532123

The date continued with the couple sitting in front of a dining table…looking at a sorry state of a packed kimbap Ri-jin brought from the house. Do-hyun can’t help but to laugh at the food but he admitted that it still tasted good, despite looking a bit messy. They dug in the local specialty there and Do-hyun explained how the noddles got its name. He asked whether she was good in cooking and Ri-jin told him that there were two things she couldn’t do: cooking and arithmetic. It’s not that because she was bad at Maths, but she would always fell sick when she had to watch over the counter at Ssangri. She didn’t take after her mother when it came to cooking but she took after her father for their inability to do calculations. Ri-jin joked that both Ri-on and her would throw out punches over words, but Do-hyun seemed to realize that her words were right, considering how Ri-on confronted him on the day before. Talking about the twins’ similarities, Ri-jin said that both of them couldn’t reject other people’s requests easily, and they were both afraid of the basement.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000604088 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000609768

Do-hyun thought that the twins had a good relationship with each other and he was so envious of them. He laughed at Ri-jin’s effort to eat the noodles, but the mention of the basement brought another flashback of his conversation with Ri-on. He had read the manuscript for the novel The Basement Child written by Ri-on, and he wondered if Ri-on wanted to know the back story to the novel. Ri-on asked Do-hyun if he had revived his lost memory, and Do-hyun proceeded to tell him the story of little Ri-jin and him, who promised to meet every night at 10 PM, in his house’s basement. The girl was kept hidden in the basement because her existence wasn’t supposed to be known to the rest of the world, but Do-hyun himself didn’t know the reason yet. Ri-on was questioning why the basement where the kids were spending time together turned into a place where their fear multiplied, and Do-hyun opened up to him about what had happened 21 years ago in that basement.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000720925 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000762040

Ri-on was thinking about the same thing while he was writing his manuscript but he went out, as if it was time for him to go somewhere. He kept thinking about Do-hyun’s story while he was driving. At the same time, Do-hyun and Ri-jin were still spending time together, but Do-hyun couldn’t seem to keep his happy face any longer.


Do-hyun: The children’s promise to meet every night at 10 was not easy at all. If the boy made a mistake or his visit to the basement was found out by his father, the girl would be the one receiving the beatings. The boy who couldn’t protect the girl locked away his hurtful memories and threw them away, before multiple sides of him started to come out. However, the locked memories were corrupted; the boy mistook the girl’s experience of being abused as his own. It was because of his wish to be the one being abused instead of the girl, and to have all the torture endured by the girl to become his own.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000854351 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000858588

Ri-on expressed his thoughts that no one in this world wished to become a victim, and the other people inside Seungjin at that time were more powerful to change the event back then. Perhaps, it was the best consolation Ri-on could offer to Do-hyun when he assured him, that Do-hyun was not the witness; he was just another victim in the scenario. Do-hyun asked Ri-on if he had any intention to continue writing the novel about Seungjin, because he was willing to provide the reference. He only had one condition, that was for Ri-on to make the novel as a bestseller.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000945210 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_000982010

The trip reminded Ri-jin of a trip she had with the whole family when she was young but she ended up getting scolded with Ri-on after the twins fought. Ri-jin explained that she was full of vigour because of her brother, and that was helpful for her in dealing with the patients when they’re out of control, or when she had to deal with Yo-na. She teased Do-hyun about Yo-na’s endless fangirling and her kiss incident (mimicking Yo-na LOL) while Do-hyun could only laugh at her. She also told him about the meaning of her name (bright/ 영리한 Ri and treasure/보배 Jin) and Do-hyun promised to remember the beautiful name for a long time. He looked distant and Ri-jin seemed to notice his unusual behaviour then.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001000639 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001060278

They walked following the train track and Ri-jin ran towards the beach at the sight of the wide blue sea in front of them. She was so excited, like a little girl who saw the sea for the first time, and urged for Do-hyun to be closer to the water. This…is it, right? When Do-hyun called her name, in a very serious tone, Ri-jin knew that his memories had returned and asked the same question she threw to Se-gi before: was she there inside his memories? Was those memories about the good times they had? Was he having a hard time with her beside him? Do-hyun didn’t answer her even when she asked if that was a farewell for them.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001150522 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001157664

Do-hyun: Oh Ri-jin, thank you for everything. The chairman and my mother had found out about my illness, hence there was no further need to keep it a secret from my family. I will have things to do from now on, so I won’t need you. The contract ends today. You’ve worked hard.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001280689 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001286681

Ri-jin didn’t have any objection against his decision, but she didn’t even turn back to face him She told Do-hyun to leave first if he had the confidence to show his back to her. Do-hyun didn’t say anything and turned around slowly, before walking away from the spot he originally stood. Ri-jin sat there without looking back, and Do-hyun walked away without turning back even once. Ri-on had arrived there and after some time, he approached Ri-jin on the beach, telling her to get up for them to have something warm to eat, before he froze to death.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001440612 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001500160

The siblings sat over a proper meal at a place nearby and Ri-on left everything up to Ri-jin: she could curse at or hit him, according to her own judgement. She wondered how he knew she was there and guessed that Do-hyun and Ri-on had planned it all beforehand. Ri-on thought that it would be better if Ri-jin did something to release the emotions inside her, and he didn’t think that recalling all those trashy memories would do anything good. He wished for them to live with their family like before, and Ri-jin couldn’t stop her tears anymore from flowing.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001603301 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001688955

Do-hyun was lying down on his couch when Secretary Ahn went to his house and he started blabbering about acting so cool on the beach before. He had a few drinks but he couldn’t seem to be drunk enough for Se-gi or Ferry to take over his consciousness. He wished to have any of them to come out at that moment, but they weren’t there to help him. Secretary Ahn told him to go to his room because he didn’t want to see him like that and the ever-faithful Alfred Ahn decided to help Do-hyun in nursing his heartbreak. He gave Do-hyun a pep talk, after telling him that it wold be helpful to cry, about losing a woman couldn’t be compared to the feeling of losing a country (Advisor Chae, is that you?), but Do-hyun felt like he just lost a country. His cheeks were wet and Secretary Ahn knew that he was crying, although his eyes were hidden under the sleep mask.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001741871 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001749912

The Oh Family huddled around the dining table for breakfast and Ri-jin was overly excited for the soup. Ri-on warned her that she was overreacting, while their parents thought that she wasn’t fed properly by the chaebol who hired her. Daddy Oh told her to quit working there and right at that moment, her things from Do-hyun’s house arrived. Ri-jin told her parents that she had resigned and excused herself from the table. She took out her clothes from the luggage and the sight of her rabbit pajamas reminded her of Yo-na. She got teary eyed but she suddenly got a call from a woman: Chairman Seo.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001916517 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_001971301

Dr. Seok and Do-hyun had their secret meeting again, this time at an a public aquarium. I love how random the places they chose, probably to keep it as a secret and as natural as possible. Do-hyun had told Dr. Seok everything except for the child’s identity and he was planning to find out the reason why the child was hidden and abused, so that he could properly apologize to that person. Dr. Seok thought that Ri-jin was still working with him, but he still told Do-hyun to contact him if anything happened.


Ri-jin was summoned to Seungjin mansion and she went there but thankfully, the housekeeper reported to Secretary Ahn about Chairman Seo and Ri-jin’s meeting. Secretary Ahn was meeting a man who worked at the mansion when the garden party was held prior to the fire incident, and he informed Do-hyun about another person who could give them more details: Seo-yeon’s driver. Do-hyun was concerned when he got to know that Ri-jin went to the mansion and drove there in a hurry. Ri-jin told the chairman that she was no longer Do-hyun’s personal doctor, so Chairman Seo dismissed her. Ri-jin then tried to talk to her about helping Do-hyun to deal with his illness, but the chairman didn’t think that bringing up the past would do any good for them.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002257752 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002327162

Her remark Ri-jin being a daring lady stirred another wave of memory in Ri-jin, as she could hear the grandma’s voice, saying the same thing to the younger version of her. The housekeeper brought in the photos of Jun-pyo and Ri-jin was disturbed after seeing the photos. She looked pale and the housekeeper escorted her out of the study, but that’s not the end of the memory. Ri-jin heard the sound of musical instruments being played and this time, we got to see the longer and more accurate version of little Do-hyun’s piano practice session.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002344377 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002444959

Little Ri-jin was actually there in the scene, playing the violin to accompany Do-hyun’s piano, but Do-hyun made a mistake. Jun-pyo  closed the book he was reading and walked towards the children, telling Do-hyun that another person would receive the punishment if he made a mistake. Little Ri-jin just stood there silently, but she was brave to told Jun-pyo that it was not right for an adult to hit a child. Jun-pyo hated that she resembled her mother so much and dragged her away by the collar, as little Do-hyun begged for his father to hit him instead.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002609069 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002621951

The memories were not easy to handle, but Ri-jin managed to walk out of the mansion. She kept thinking about Do-hyun’s words, telling her about his intention to find the child in the basement, and felt that the child was actually herself. Her fears, Do-hyun’s apology for being late, and him telling her not to revive her memories all made sense now: the child in her dreams was Do-hyun, and he had remembered everything. She fell onto her knees, still in the vicinity of the mansion, and hid her face in her knees. Do-hyun saw her and ran towards her, but her plea to be saved stopped him from touching her. The housekeeper went out and escorted Ri-jin to the car, while Do-hyun sat there on the ground, wallowing in his guilt for the umpteenth time.


Do-hyun went to Chairman Seo, demanding to know why she called Ri-jin there and he was not in the mood to be courteous this time, even in front of his grandma. The chairman didn’t really answer his questions and just ordered Do-hyun to return to the company,  but Do-hyun flatly refused it and made it a point that he would never return to the company.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002782609 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002799892

Ri-jin chose to settle down at a cafe and she was soon joined by Ri-on. She asked for Ri-on to decipher the meaning of her dream.

Ri-jin: I was around seven years old at that time, and I was accompanying a boy’s piano practice by playing violin. The boy made a mistake with his piano but I was the one getting scolded. A certain scary-looking man dragged me to the basement. Who was the man who dragged me? Was it the wind man? I was locked in the basement for the whole day. But that boy went to visit me every night at 10. I waited for him every night with hope, so that I could play with that boy. Was you the boy I waited for, or was it Cha Do-hyun?

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002843078 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002878004

Ri-on realized that Ri-jin had started to recall her lost memories, but she was more interested to know how much he had found out, and to what extent did Do-hyun and him made their pact. She knew that he won’t open his mouth, hence Ri-jin had decided to find them on her own. She went back home in tears and made the request to know about her birth parents from Mama Ji, since she had started to be curious about them.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002943476 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_002992917

Do-hyun headed back home but he had more things to be discussed with Secretary Ahn. They’re contacting Seo-yeon’s driver in the past and the secretary gave Do-hyun the family register, together with the record of Seo-yeon entering the country with Chairman Cha and a 6-year old girl. The girl’s whereabouts couldn’t be traced afterwards, and Do-hyun realized that something was off in the family registry: he was brought into Seungjin because he needed the family register to attend the school, but he clearly remembered that it was in the winter when he was introduced to his grandma. However, his name had been there in the family register since that year’s summer (or to be exact, on the same day Seo-yeon went back to Korea with her daughter). It was impossible for the late chairman to put Do-hyun’s name in the register before they met, because no one in Seungjin knew about his existence before that.


Mama Ji gave to Ri-jin an envelope containing Seo-yeon’s belongings and she kept it with her all this while to be given to Ri-jin, although she hoped that she would never ask about it. Ri-ji decided to open it later and wondered what kind of person her birth mother was. Mama Ji told her that her friend Seo-yeon was intelligent, kind, and beautiful, just like Ri-jin. Although Seo-yeon became a cold person after her family fell apart, Mama Ji believed that it was her way of protecting herself. Seo-yeon was forced into a loveless marriage with a chaebol family and her marriage was an unhappy one, but she was cherished by her father-in-law, who preferred her over his own son.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003189443 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003201864

Seo-yeon then decided to get a divorce since Jun-pyo left the house after getting into an argument with Chairman Cha. Jun-pyo gave her the divorce papers and she planned to sign it and resign for her position as the company’s President before leaving the family. She was the one who brought up the divorce at first, telling Jun-pyo that she had a man she loved even before they got married. Seo-yeon didn’t feel any regret since she had done everything for the family and she was planning to leave for the US together with her lover.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003247019 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003287157

Mama Ji herself didn’t get to meet Seo-yeon’s lover, who was also Ri-jin’s birth father, and the father passed away, leaving the mother and the daughter by themselves. Ri-jin apologized to her mother, saying that she wasn’t doing this because she hated her mother. She herself didn’t want to remember, but she continued to recall all the memories and felt troubled. Mama Ji understood her feelings, because she’s her mother.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003350242 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003371360

Do-hyun continued to look at the documents but he suddenly experienced the headache, this time being more serious than usual. Ri-jin opened the envelope and peered through the photos and realized that her birth mother was Do-hyun’s legal mother. Do-hyun jolted up awake in his bed when Ri-jin opened the locket, and he found himself sleeping together with the teddy bear. Something caught his eyes..

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003481305 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003501784

..and it was the image of little Ri-jin, sitting in front of him. He smiled tenderly at the girl and gave her the teddy bear. Little Ri-jin mentioned that Do-hyun asked her name before, and he answered that he already knew her name. She shook her head when Do-hyun said that her name was Oh Ri-jin. He asked her again…what’s her name then?

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003554846 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003590287

Ri-jin opened the locket to reveal the photos of Seo-yeon and her younger self, but she started to hear Do-hyun’s name being mentioned in her memory. It was Seo-yeon’s voice, calling out Do-hyun’s name while little Ri-jin was playing on the swing. Little Ri-jin then ran towards Seo-yeon..and her mother called her ‘Do-hyun’.

Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003635843 Kill.Me.Heal.Me.E16.150226.HDTV.H264.450p-LIMO.avi_003638985

Ri-jin couldn’t believe what she had just remembered, and Do-hyun was still confused when he asked the girl’s name again.

“My name is..Cha. Do. Hyun.”


[END of Episode 16]


I can’t help but to be reminded of Se-gi’s line in the second episode. Was he implying that he was the original person, since he had the memories..and also, the real name of the boy? Was Do-hyun’s name before he joined Seungjin Shin Se-gi? I totally didn’t see that twist coming, and no one probably did, because we were all focusing either on Ri-jin and Do-hyun’s break up, Ri-jin’s reaction to the memories, and Do-hyun’s other alters. And now…Do-hyun we knew all this while might not be the real owner of the name Cha Do-hyun.

What could more more surprising than this? Dear writer-nim, go ahead and surprise me. I am ready to accept anything.

But for now…let me collect my thoughts first. I think my brain just jumped out of my head after that ending.

Advance thank yous for all your comments ^^v


[+] I’m back, but I can’t promise what I’m going to write will be coherent. There are too many things in my mind, and there seems to be no ending to what I’m thinking right now. Dear show, what have you done to me?

First: Do-hyun. We know that there’s something bigger – perhaps closer to a conspiracy – behind all the things that happened to the kids in the past, but the name switch was something no one could have guessed. One interesting point is that the family register listed the name Cha Do-hyun as a male. Yeah, the Do-hyun we know today is a male, but was it like that before? Did Chairman Cha put Ri-jin in the family register as a boy from the beginning? Since we haven’t seen the late chairman yet, not even in any of the characters’ flashbacks, the secret must be there with his appearance, which will probably take place next week. Although Do-hyun insisted that no one knew about his existence before he went to Seungjin mansion with his father, it is a possibility that Chairman Cha had learned about him and also Jun-pyo’s whereabouts, but he chose not to tell anyone about it. He might have predicted that Jun-pyo would crawl back to him because of the boy, and he’s been preparing everything in advance. Did he realize that little Ri-jin was not Jun-pyo’s blood back then too?

There’s one thing I’m sure about, that this new piece of information won’t be easy for Do-hyun to deal with. Imagine yourself in his shoes: witnessing your friend being abused because of you, thinking that the friend died in the fire while you’re saved, living his whole life shutting down his memories because of the guilt, producing multiple identities to cope with the pain, finding out that he had been abused before realizing that his memories were corrupted, learning the truth, including the person he cherished the most in the world turned out to be the same girl he failed to protect back then, living with even more guilt on his shoulders, and finally…realizing that he might have been living under someone else’s identity. Ah, Do-hyun…you deserve to live happily ever after for the rest of your life, more than anyone else in this drama.

Do-hyun will start to be curious about his real identity, and the pressure to find out the truth will weigh on on him, producing another alter in the form of the mysterious Mr. X. We know nothing about him, just like Do-hyun realizing that he doesn’t even know who he is actually. If we’re to suggest that the alters are emulating the people who affected Do-hyun the most, then we might be on the right track. Most of the alters had the traits which once belonged to Jun-pyo: Se-gi’s finger tapping; Yo-sub’s interest in everything fine (classical music and art) and the glasses; and the alters’ tendency to grab other person’s collar. Do-hyun himself shows the sign of being a concerned adult when he was worrying about Yo-na, probably like his father’s tendency to have expectations on him back then. It won’t be too much of a surprise if Do-hyun had been living his life as good as he can to prevent himself from getting into trouble like his father, because he has witnessed how his kindhearted father changed into a monster.


It’s been the fourth time for Nana to appear, but we haven’t really seen her yet. The name Nana itself isn’t the alter’s name, and after watching the ending of episode 16, I can see why we can’t see a proper portrayal of the girl alter through Do-hyun. Although Do-hyun said that the alter was a 7-year old girl, he himself isn’t really sure about the alter. Nana first appeared when Do-hyun started to experience co-consciousness with Se-gi, and the girl alter might have existed alongside Do-hyun, like how he could see Se-gi through himself. Nana’s existence is complicated to be described and that’s what makes it even more intriguing. Could it be that Do-hyun unknowingly projected the image of the girl all this time after being triggered by the basement, and the reason why the girl remains a separate figure from Do-hyun (unlike his other alters) is because of Do-hyun’s way of seeing himself: he views himself as the illusion, the fake, and the person wearing the mask that is the identity, Cha Do-hyun. His unconscious mind knows that he wasn’t the original Do-hyun, and he chooses not to become Nana; instead, he gives the girl alter a separate figure from himself, because he have had it enough, cosplaying himself as Cha Do-hyun, the name which once belonged to the little girl.

The real Cha Do-hyun, or our Oh Ri-jin…if I were Ri-on, I would totally make the same decision as him, which was to protect and shield Ri-jin from finding out whatever things happened in the past. But then, we get to hear what she really felt about finding her lost memories. Even if people around them think that it might be hard for her to accept the past, no one can imagine how disturbing it is for Ri-jin to be continuously harassed by the situations she didn’t remember, and they won’t go away simply by closing her eyes. Perhaps finding the truth is a better option, since no one will be able to withstand the harassment of the mysterious nightmares like Ri-jin had. Although she was greatly affected when the memories returned, Ri-jin proved how strong she was to be able to walk out of the traumatic place this time. She can handle it, and she showed it to Ri-on. One thing I hope she will realize is that Ri-on has done something he thought would be helpful to her, and she knows how much he cherishes her. Same goes for Do-hyun, and I’m glad that Ri-jin is finding out about her past as fast as Do-hyun is.


I think that Ri-jin has to be the one who assures Do-hyun that he did nothing wrong back then, and he should put an end to his guilt since 21 years ago. Ri-on’s words were not enough (although I really love how he comforted Do-hyun and stated that he was just another victim) for Do-hyun, and that is not because Do-hyun is weak. That guy has endured everything related to his illness for 11 years by himself and he has lived cautiously to hide everything from his family. We often see Do-hyun in tears and losing his consciousness, but I won’t say that he’s weak. His inner self is in fact stronger than what we give him credit for, but in the case of his guilt, he can’t simply get over it by himself. He needs Ri-jin by his side, telling him that he was innocent, because that’s the only way for him to accept it and stop putting the blame on himself. He felt extremely guilty towards Ri-jin, and the words that can console her are those from Ri-jin, telling him that she had never blamed him for what happened.

It’s a lie to say that I don’t feel any anger towards the adults in Seungjin. Their indifference towards the tragedy makes my heart boil, and Do-hyun’s question makes sense: are they even humans? They don’t even flinch at the thought of facing the child whose life they had ruined, and to think that they don’t see it as a big deal is even more horrifying. Maybe the fear will kick in once they realize that Ri-jin is still alive and trying to take Seungjin away frm them, because the only thing they care about was their wealth. It’s revolting to think that humanity, or even a small compassion, can be pushed away because of the wealth and fame. It’s sickening.

Now that we’re approaching the last four episodes of this drama, I hope the drama has had enough of killing our hearts. The only thing left is to tie up the story nicely, and heal us with a proper closure for the characters. You killed me multiple times, drama, but I’m willing to entrust you with the healing of my heart. You can do it, Kill Me, Heal Me~!


146 thoughts on “Kill Me, Heal Me – Episode 16

  1. @muchadoboutlove

    “because of Do-hyun’s way of seeing himself: he views himself as the illusion, the fake, and the person wearing the mask that is the identity, Cha Do-hyun. His unconscious mind knows that he wasn’t the original Do-hyun, and he chooses not to become Nana; instead, he gives the girl alter a separate figure from himself, because he have had it enough, cosplaying himself as Cha Do-hyun, the name which once belonged to the little girl.”

    Rather than that, I think Dohyun genuinely believed himself to be the real Cha Dohyun until the latest revelation, because even Segi (Dohyun’s memory bank) addressed Puppy as Dohyun. Since Dohyun already associated the 7 years old girl with the name Nana instead of her real name (as did the other alters like Yona), assuming that he does think of himself as the fake/illusion, there’s no conclusive reason for Dohyun not to become Nana, though I’m left wondering how he knows the alter Nana is a 7 years old girl when no one really saw or interacted with that alter before.

    I can’t help keep coming back here too, what has this drama done to me I don’t know, I’m becoming worst than an obsessive stalker gf.

    1. @muchadoboutlove

      “Ah, Do-hyun…you deserve to live happily ever after for the rest of your life, more than anyone else in this drama.”

      And he deserves to be with the one woman who makes his world a better place.

    2. I just think that it was something inside his mind that unconsciously knew and realized about the identity issue, so that can contribute to how the alter is produced. Oh yeah, it’s still a mystery how he knew that Nana was 7 years old..maybe he just recognized her without realizing it?

      LOL I tried to avoid this blog altogether since this morning but I can’t do it! Aigoo let us all become the drama’s overly attached fans! Heee

      1. You know what they say, if you can’t beat them, join them. I pretty much resigned to being an overly attached fans. I couldn’t even function all day at work without coming here to check on the comments at all times. I didn’t even finish work last night just because I wanted to stalk on soompi! T_T I have an hour to go before getting off work, can’t wait to go home to watch ep 15 & 16, so I can bawl properly. I’ve only been watching bits and pieces on youtube (crappy internet, I didn’t get to download yesterday).

        1. I am thankful to know that there are people who are as invested as I am in this drama ^^v LOL at least we’re normal together!

          Best of luck watching those episodes! I don’t think I can watch them again in the nearest future…Oh, my heart will break for real!

  2. Does anyone know what that game that Do-hyun(Puppy) and Ri-jin were playing in the train? I didn’t understand what they were trying to do with their thumbs.

    1. It’s like ‘zero’ game. They were using their thumbs, so the max number count is 4, each person gets a turn to call out a number from 0-4, and if the thumb matches, that person wins and the other one gets punish. I knew this from watching too much ‘2 Days, 1 Night’.

      1. Ah! Thank you, @Mary. So that’s why he kept saying that she wasn’t giving him enough time to think? He meant that she wasn’t giving him enough time to pick a number to call out?

      2. No! Lol. Let me break it into details, when it was Rijin’s turn, she said 0 and neither of them raised their thumbs, so the count is 0 and she won. And the next she said 1, and she raised 1 thumb while Dohyun didn’t, the count is 1. Again after that, she said 2, and only she raised her thumbs while Dohyun didn’t, making the count 2. It’s like predicting how many thumbs will be raised, and if you guess right, you win! So Dohyun was complaining that Rijin didn’t give him enough time to react, when in truth, he has slow reflex is all.

  3. I wonder if in the end Do-hyun(Puppy) will abandon the name of “Cha Do-hyun”, or will Ri-jin choose to tell him in a way that he can accept that it is alright for him to keep that name?

    I wonder which would be healthier for both of them…

    1. He will try to give the name back to Ri-jin, or even change his name, but I’m sure Ri-jin has no intention of using that name again. She will try convince Do-hyun that it is okay for him to keep that name.

      My heart feels heavier each time I think about the name Cha Do-hyun. ㅜㅜ

      1. @mimi
        Yeah, I don’t think she wants to use that name again. she has spent the last twenty-one years with the name Oh Ri-jin (smart treasure) given to her by people who gave her a fresh start and cherish her as family. She has built a life she is proud of for herself with that name.
        And, -leaving the Cha surname out of it- while I don’t think she would dislike the memories of her birth mother calling her “Do-hyun”, I don’t think she has any wish to use that name now and certainly not to reclaim the identity of “Cha Do-hyun”.

        Do-hyun(JS) on the other hand has built a life for twenty-one years as well using the name. However, unlike for Min Seo-yeon’s Do-hyun for whom the name “Oh Ri-jin” was a gift and blessing, he was forced into an identity not originally his. He since then he made it his as he fought to keep his place first as the guarddog for Seungjin Group that his grandmother and mother wanted him to be and later as Puppy fought for his own sense of self in his struggle with DID.

        Now we are at a point where even if he sinks away again, Ri-jin shouting “Cha Do-hyun!” like she shouted at Yo-sub, probably won’t be able to pull him out of the depths again, because he is torn between who the name “Cha Do-hyun” represents and refers to. T^T

        So, would it be healthy for him to be assured by Ri-jin that she wants to give the name to him and that he is his own person that he has built for the past twenty-one years, or would it be better for him to use a different name, or, if he had one, the name he was called before he was put in “Cha Do-hyun”‘s place?

        And, for Ri-jin will she be able to peacefully call Puppy “Cha Do-hyun” like she has so lovingly been up til now, or will the name bring up stressful memories…?

  4. That was such a sad episode. But the last two episode belongs to Hwang Jung Eum. Ji Sung is phenomenal but this week, Hwang Jung Eum had the opportunity to truly showcase emotional range to the maximum extent. Park Seo Joon is also doing a solid job and holding his own among these two experienced and seasoned actors. That twist, was it planned from the beginning, I wonder! Because I never expected it. Truly great writing and great actors delivering on the script, I truly respect the whole team behind this drama. On a sidenote: Shin Hwa Ran is despicable, she is still running after money. Her son needs her moral support more than financial support. This woman is loyal to no one except for money. At-least the grandmother genuinely loves her son. And I am beginning to think the dead grandfather played a crucial role in MSY’s return. He might have made circumstance in a way that MSY had no choice but to return. She had superb skills as a business women, there’s no doubt in that and CJP lacked in that area a lot. That bond, I guess its a will that gives MSY’s daughter a huge portion of the conglomerate regardless of her biological percentage, I guess that is the deal that was struck in order to keep MSY around the Cha family and I have a feeling it has the real gender of the heir stated in it.

    1. Yesssss HJE is awesome and I’m glad more people have to come to appreciate her acting abilities, because she’s great! I’m sure PSJ is learning a lot from watching JS and HJE, and he’s shown to be paying attention at those two when they were practicing their scenes.

      You’re right. Grandma at least seems to genuinely care about her son, while Madam Shin is all about money. I find it smart of the writer to make MSY as the key to ORJ and CDH’s connection, while CGH (the late chairman) is the key to MSY and ORJ’s involvement with Seungjin in the first place.

      1. They’re in their usual awesome actor self it’s just that focus was given to Ri Jin this time and of course HJE did so well. We’re so lucky to have these two great actors playing Do Hyun and Ri Jin for us.

  5. All of our prediction and Do Hyun Hardwork in 15 episode was break only with one sentece from little girl when she say….” I’m Cha Do Hyun”

    A Good Drama is

    No Idol
    Good Actor/Actress
    Good writer
    Good scenario

  6. What. .. but now the memory loss of CDJ makes complete sense. CDJ did not have those memories because only the real personality has this before the switch of identity. Shin Se Gi poor guy. How will someone keep his or her sanity at this young age and how will he now overcome this craziness…. please someone keep an eye on him that nothing will happen to him.
    The grown ups really abused both children for their own selfish goals. This is so sick.
    there are still so many questions:
    How dis Perry Park fit into all of this. Who are the real parents of both ORJ and SSG/CDJ. Did grandma abuse dad and dad thaN became an abuser. Who started the fire: SSG or ORJ or someone else. Will dad wake up and all will be different.

    Only 4 episodes. ..

    1. I think that Do-hyun is still the real person, because Se-gi himself admitted that he was an alter born out of Do-hyun’s wish to bear the pain. Do-hyun and Se-gi suffered so much all this while 😦

      I have an inkling that the fire was probably planned by Grandma or Daddy Jun-pyo. Ummm am I bad to wish that Jun-pyo never wake up? it will be too convenient if he suddenly wakes up, because that will only bring more pain to Do-hyun and Ri-jin. I’d rather see Do-hyun and Ri-jin forgiving him and then send him away, because he might be suffering all this time, hanging in between life and death…

  7. I’ve been thinking some more about that nondisclosure contract that Chairman Seo has in her safe.

    The contract seems to be dated March 1, 1949. Underneath the checks of 5 billion won there is another paper with the name SEUNGJIN GROUP on it and “승게신고서” for a header. What happened in the group all the way back in 1949 that a non-disclosure contract was needed, and why would Chairman Seo pull that out for during her confrontation with Shin Se-gi? 1949 would have been 66 years ago, right?

    Click for a larger view:

    And, are those really checks of 5 billion won or are they just receipts of checks that had been issued to the people in the past?

    1. I think that looks like a cheque issued in the past. 66 years ago would mean a family secret dated back then? I hope this drama doesn’t try to be everything all at once, and failed miserably.

    2. The documents seem to grant power for someone to become an executor of the estate.

      1) The non-disclosure contract 유언증서 is Letter of Testamentary, also known as Letter of Administration or Letter of Representation
      2) The check is actually Seungjin Group’s bond.
      3) The document behind the bond, …승게신고서 can be directly translated as declaration of succession. Probably something like a will but in this case, for determining the group’s legal successor?

      If the chairman handed over the documents to Se-gi, he would have the power to execute everything in his will regarding the company. As for the opinion is it just shows when the company was officially founded/established.

      1. @mimi Thank you! Now, this makes sense. 🙂

        So, “non-disclosure contract” was a mistake in the English subs? This was bothering me, because before I had noticed the date, I was thinking that it might be a “non-disclosure contract” from the time of taking care of the aftermath of the fire, but once I saw that it was from around the company’s founding, I started thinking what could possibly have happened all the way back then that Chairman Seo would think she could either threaten or persuade Do-hyun(JS) with?

        But, now it makes sense. So, she really had been considering handing over the company up until she realized his motivations when Shin Se-g shouted at her that they should have saved Min Seo-yeon’s Do-hyun.

        1. I’m not sure if the term ‘non-disclosure contract’ can be used to refer to the document in a legal setting, so I can’t really say that it was a mistake. As much as the grandma loves the company, she does care about her son Jun-pyo, which makes Madam Shin looks worse than her…

      2. It’s great that we have mimi as the very interactive and knowledgeable author/blogger. I love that we keep learning new things as we discuss the drama here. Very informative. I used to just watch and and forget most dramas I’ve watched.

  8. Watching this episode was pretty much a roller coaster ride, from being happy when seeing Puppy and Ri Jin being cute on their final date, and tearing up when they bid their good byes. I am really digging Ri Jin’s character. She is very well aware of Puppy’s intentions when he left her but she did not stop him because she realises it must also have been hard for him.

    By now, I believe Ri On’s feelings for Ri Jin is slowly changing. When the series first started, it is clear that he harbors feelings towards her as a man, but as the story progresses and more secrets are uncovered, he seems to be more of a brother rather as a jealous man… Is it just me or even his gaze when he looks at her becomes more brotherly?

    Anyway, what really tears me apart is when Ri Jin’s memories come flooding in and she broke down outside the mansion pleading “Save Me! I was wrong!” and Puppy did not even dare to touch her. I could feel the despair in him as he once again couldn’t “save” the person he wants to protect the most.

    As some have already mentioned, I feel that Secretary Ahn may have a role to play in this secret saga… the way he interacted with Puppy while Puppy was heart broken seems………. okay maybe I’m just thinking too much.

    Lastly, I think that Yo Na’s character may have come from Shin Hwa Ran. Although deep down she is a dark and manipulative character, when she isn’t triggered, she is bratty and want things her way (as seen in Episode 1 where she repeatedly calls “Mother!” despite Grandmommy ignoring her.. and her shrewdness at the golf scene where she cat-fights with her sister in law)

    As many have mentioned, all the alters Puppy have are actually an emulation of those who has impacted him, I deduced Yo Na is from Shin Hwa Ran. If that is the case, could it be possible that Mysterious X is an emulation of Chairman Cha Gun Ho? After all, he is a fine, classy, OLD gentleman that bears a lot of secrets to this saga and could be the key for the mysteries. Puppy could have taken after this image to solve the mystery altogether.

    1. Hehehehe it’s cute that you’re calling Do-hyun as Puppy and it’s fitting, because we’re yet to know Puppy’s real name! 😀

      i love your theory about Yo-na being Puppy’s emulation of Madam Shin, and also X being Chairman Cha. Very interesting. Oh, maybe we can deduce it like this…
      – Se-gi: wounded Do-hyun
      – Ferry: free-spirited Do-hyun
      – Yo-sub: Jun-pyo
      – Yo-na: Madam Shin
      – Nana: Ri-jin
      – Mr. X: Chairman Cha

      Ohhhhh I like this!

      My opinion is that Ri-on felt the urge to protect Ri-jin since he realized that they were not real twins and she was probably suffering before she was adopted into the family, and he thought that he had a chance to be in a romantic relationship with her…but once he realized that Ri-jin loved Puppy and she had a deeper connection with Puppy, he might have put an end to his romantic notions and decides to become a protective brother to his little sister, Ri-jin. We didn’t see much of him in the first half of this series but I’m really glad that the drama doesn’t turn Ri-on into a jealous second lead. He’s so supportive and I love him!

      Ahhhh…my heart breaks just from thinking about Ri-jin and Puppy /sobs/

  9. I would think that it is NOT shin segi as the main character but it is cha do hyun~ except that since ri-jin is not the junpyo’s own daughter he despise her and abuses her. and also since she is the daughter(the 1st child, meaning the right heir to the company) of the woman who his father loves more than him. bcoz the heir of the company should b a guy, “cha do hyun” may be adopted..not blood-related to them at all… and he got the identity “cha do hyun” since it is alrdy in the registry…
    which is why ri-jin(the original do hyun) is hidden and kept secret from others! that’ hypothesis…hehehehe

    1. Yeah, Se-gi himself pointed out that he was an alter born to become the vessel of painful memories which once belonged to Do-hyun.

      Wow, if the late Chairman Cha was planning to bring in a boy to be adopted as the heir while little Ri-jin was to be hidden from the public forever…then Do-hyun was really like a very unfortunate victim in the whole situation. He came into Seungjin was timed perfectly and he was made to take over the real Cha Do-hyun’s identity. Urgh, the elders of Seungjin are really something if this turns out to be true.

  10. ㅠㅠ ㅠㅠ I was kind of forcing myself to watch these two painful episodes. And I couldn’t help but stop in the middle of this episode and I’m going to watch it later..tthis Wednesday! So that I don’t have to wait too long for new episode 😦

    Can’t look at Dohyun face ㅠㅠ ( aw you poor little puppy don’t cry please. .uljimaa!) And Rion too..wuwuwuu

  11. My gosh, this drama totally rocks. My mind is completely blown away and I’m now left wondering who is the real character in this story and who is the alter ego? The twist totally sent a spine down my spine, what a clever piece of story telling!!This drama totally deserves better ratings!!

  12. This episode totally blew me away! Now I am wondering which personality is real and who’s the alter ego. The script rocks, especially if it’s still available to deliver such a twist at this stage of the show. I just wish the show has the better ratings it deserves. Will be so sad when the show finally ends… Has there been any K-drama when the male and female leads get reunited for a 3rd time?!?!

    1. I think I read somewhere that this was the case for Lee Da Hae and Jang Hyuk? Chuno, Iris…and another one that I can’t remember. Or maybe I am wrong lol. Anyway, it would be totally awesome if JS and HJE will team up once again! Too precious and powerful of a tandem to be in just 2 dramas. Please hear us out drama gods!

      1. LDH and JH were in Robbers, Chuno, and IRIS 2. Hehehe I’m sure JS and HJE to will be reunited in their drama if they’re fated to do it, just like this drama 😉

  13. Now, at 2.45am I suddenly recalled the few poignant scenes I’ve wanted to share:

    (3) The scene where Dohyun and Rion sat side by side talking about Rijin was done beautifully. At the end of Dohyun’s heartfelt speech, Rion cried with him (and I cried with them), I think he realized for the first time that Dohyun loves Rijin as much as he does, probably even more. He probably sympathized with Dohyun, but his desire to protect Rijin is stronger, especially when Dohyun’s family seems to be furiously pursuing Rijin. Later when Rion recalled it in the car, he cried again, at the sight of the two love birds while Dohyun’s word echoed,

    “you have every right to receive all the love, and as much as you deserve the love, you deserve to be the most dazzling, twinkling, brightest, and the loveliest person. So forget it all, and be someone that will receive all the love in the world.”

    Ironically, as Dohyun was saying this, the same applies to him, he has every right to receive love, and he has every right to be loved by Rijin. He’s been blaming himself for what happened to Rijin, when in truth he suffered the same heartache, as acknowledged by Rion when he told Dohyun he was the victim too. Only when Dohyun is willing to stop looking at himself as the person responsible, that he can truly be the most dazzling, twinkling, brightest, and the loveliest person.

    (4) The scene where Sec. Ahn came to Dohyun’s house after the breakup to check on his condition. I’m glad that as lonely as Dohyun has been, at least he still has a faithful friend/assistant by his side. And when Sec. Ahn told him it helps to cry, it echoes the words Rion said to Rijin – to cry. Not that crying makes the pain goes away, but it’s the oldest way known to man to cope with pain. It’s the first lesson in a long long time for both Dohyun and Rijin, that the start of something new is the breaking of something old. I hated the breakup and the reasoning, but I do agree that it’s a step towards forgiveness and reconciliation with the past.

    (5) Copied this from soompi:

    “One day, only one day,
    I want to solely spend it on Oh Ri Jin
    I want to make her smile brightly.

    Because Oh Ri Jin,
    Into my castle that has always been desolate and cold, she was the first person to enter it,
    She was the first person to held out her hand,
    She was the person who noticed that our eyes were different in one glance,
    She was the person who asked for my name,
    She was the person who waited anxiously for me to come back,
    She was the person who gave me the warmest snowman in the world,
    She was the person who said to me words that were more consoling than a 1000 words,
    She was the person who could make me happy just from looking at her, and
    She was the person who I can’t make it up to even if I atone for the rest of my life.”

    Enough said.

    1. Your comment makes me cry again. Indeed, Do-hyun deserves to be happy, to be loved, and to love. Even Ri-on acknowledged that.

      What am I doing right now…crying on the bright Saturday afternoon../sigh/

      1. I woke up this morning and saw my sorry state, swollen puffy eyes with lack od sleep. I looked exactly like Dohyun when he was telling Rion of the basement story. cries

  14. SO, because my life is apparently non-existent and because I clearly have a lot of time on my hands when in reality I do not, I re-watch the early eps Se Gi appears in and jotted down his most important dialogue to try and make sense of all this cluster between Do Hyun/Se Gi.

    [1] “Remember. January 7th, 2015 at 10 o’clock on the dot… the time I fell for you.”

    [2] “You called me. From a long time ago.”

    [3] “Since I took care of the annoying things, play with me now.”

    [4] “I’m different from you. I don’t know when I’m going to appear.”

    [5] “Remember, that person who had my face but a different name is a fake. There is only one Shin Se Gi who has this face.”

    [6] “I am me. Not Cha Do Hyun but Shin Se Gi.”

    [7] “If it wasn’t for me then he would have already been dead. I save him from danger and take on the pain for him instead.”

    [8] “When that guy made me we were both made responsible for handling me.”

    [9] “When your with me don’t ever speak his name again.”

    [10] “I was born to handle that [the memories].”

    Alright, so those are about the most important ones. Re-watching it made me realize that Do Hyun as we’ve known him is indeed the original him, and that he created Se Gi to take over the painful memories. But I don’t think that makes Se Gi any less real in his own right, because if Do Hyun wouldn’t have split his personality, then Se Gi would have been the one he became because it was the past that made Se Gi the way he was. And memories/feelings, they made a person who they are, so yes, I can see why Se Gi would consider himself the original and Do Hyun a fake.

    Not to mention that now we have the entire name situation. My guess is that Se Gi doesn’t just hate Do Hyun because he couldn’t handle the pain, he hates him for what he represents: Ri Jin’s stolen identity. In that sense Do Hyun IS a fake, and Se Gi is the real one both in name and even in memories. This is why I think they are ultimately going to become one and the same, and have both the gentle traits and the anger from all the pain; its the only way to reconcile the two sides of him. And I think now we also know why Se Gi calls Do Hyun a fake, not because he isn’t the “owner” but because he truly stood all these years as a fake for someone else. No wonder he gets so pissed when Ri Jin says Do Hyun’s name. Because that’s her name!!

    As I was re-watching all the scenes where Ri Jin asks DH “What is your name” came and hit me in full force. He kept saying “I am Cha Do Hyun” all proud and everything, but now… now he’s not Cha Do Hyun!! I just don’t know how they’ll come back from this. Can they really forget the past and live happily with each other? It seems impossible. And Se Gi mentioned she has to chose between the two so many times, that is going to come back around at some point I am guessing?

    Conclusion: I really think I need to get a life.

    1. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! You know that I love you, right?! ❤

      I can’t seem to stop my tears when I am thinking about rewatching the earlier episodes, so I am not confident to do so…and you’re my saviour! \o/

      Se-gi feels that Do-hyun is fake, because he is incomplete without his memories. Gaahhh now we know why Se-gi seems like he’s exploding each time Ri-jin calls out the name Cha Do-hyun. I want to hug Se-gi, Do-hyun, Ri-jin, Ri-on, and all the good characters in this drama ㅠㅠ

      It will be a great shock to Do-hyun. He just realized that he had been living under someone else’s identity. Losing Ri-jin to him is just like losing a country, and now…it’s like watching him losing the entire world, and the world he was living in originally belonged to the person he loved the most. Sheesh, this is so painful for us to watch, and it is probably worse for Do-hyun.

      Regarding the line “What is your name?”, I noticed that little Ri-jin had also asked the same question to little Do-hyun in their memories. Is it possible that Do-hyun didn’t have a name back then (and being addressed by his parents as ‘child’, like Madam Shin did several times) and the kids made up a name for him…like their very own secret code?

      I think I should stop thinking too much about this drama. Huhuhuhu

      1. Haha, I love you too! ❤

        I would be really surprised if his real name is not Shin Se Gi. To me it makes sense. Especially when Se Gi told Ri Jin that she called him from a long long time ago. I am guessing that little Ri Jin called him Se Gi and would call for him in the basement.

        But yeah it was brutal watching certain scenes now that we know the truth. Especially the ones with Se Gi (I’ve always been partial to him anyway), but in ep. 5(?) when he kisses Ri Jin and then he sheds a tear broke me and I think it’s one of my favourite scenes. I was actually watching it on the train on my way home and I had to stop because I was tearing up and people were looking at me like I was crazy. Oh, this drama. I definitely lost a couple years off my life in the process of watching it.

        1. Ohhhh it really makes sense for Madam Shin not to find the name familiar in this case, since it’s a name known only to little Ri-jin and little Do-hyun! 😮

          I avoid listening to the OST or thinking about the drama altogether in public since weeks ago, because I know I will tear up. Hmmmm this drama makes me cry soooo much but I am still grateful that I am given the chance to discover it! :3

      2. @moonsorin, a bundle of thanks for braving those episodes and sharing your findings!!

        mimi: “Is it possible that Do-hyun didn’t have a name back then (and being addressed by his parents as ‘child’, like Madam Shin did several times) and the kids made up a name for him…like their very own secret code?”

        moonsorin: “Especially when Se Gi told Ri Jin that she called him from a long long time ago. I am guessing that little Ri Jin called him Se Gi and would call for him in the basement.”

        mimi: “it really makes sense for Madam Shin not to find the name familiar in this case, since it’s a name known only to little Ri-jin and little Do-hyun!”

        I must be in love with this drama, because I feel ecstatically happy after reading these. 😀

        Se-gi’s line “You called me. From a long time ago.” but that Madam Shin didn’t show even a blip of a reaction to the name, as far as I could tell, were really bothering me. ^^; But, this theory would not only make sense, it would even have poetic heft for the story telling! I can totally picture the continuation to the audible memory that Do-hyun(Puppy) had when he saw little Ri-jin’s picture, of her asking “What’s your name?” is him telling her that he doesn’t have one and she makes one up for him -She’s a creative girl, after all.- And, her giving him a name back then would parallel her giving one to him now -regardless of whether its to “give” the name “Cha Do-hyun” to him or help him to use the name “Shin Se-gi” again- now that he’s lost his sense of identity.

        Ah, having this theory to happily mull over makes me look forward to the coming episodes. 🙂 Thanks a lot, you two! 😀

        1. I guess the characters are already on they way towards healing their scars, so we can trust the drama to heal us with happiness..after killing us with the revelations. Hehehe~ 😉

      3. I don’t think it’s possible that Puppy did not have a name back then, because Korean parents have weird tradition of naming their unborn babies (well at least that’s what I perceived from several variety shows I was watching), and I think his parents would have at least given him a nickname, instead of calling him “son” all the times.

        Reasons why I think Shin Segi is Puppy’s real name:
        -Shin Segi has the same surname as his mother, Shin Hwaran.
        -Puppy must have been registered at birth under his mother’s name, because Junpyo was running away from his family at the time, and registering puppy under his name would expose him and his newfound family to Seungjin group. Considering how much Junpyo loved Puppy to put away his pride and went back home, there’s no way they wouldn’t register his birth, because they’d need his resident registration number for health checkup and all during his infancy, right?
        -Why Shin Hwaran seemed to be unaffected at the mention of Shin Segi could be because Puppy already acknowledged that he remembered the past, his mother probably thought he’d already recalled his name.

        Reasons why I think Segi/Puppy believed himself to be the real Dohyun:
        -Neither Segi nor Puppy shown any recollection/recognition whenever the name Cha Dohyun was uttered, I think they both believed Puppy to be the real Cha Dohyun, probably from repeating the name to himself too many times before that he was convinced he’s the real owner of the name. I find his wording “I’m Cha Dohyun” seems more like he was trying to convince himself to be the ‘Cha Dohyun’.
        -Puppy distorted his memories of the past by believing himself to be Rijin who was abused, so maybe he projected the abused Dohyun into himself, and convinced that he WAS Dohyun! When it was revealed otherwise, that’s when it came back to him that the real Dohyun is Rijin.
        -Segi willingly shared with Puppy all of his past memories and the recent ones after the merge in Episode 14, it wouldn’t make sense a huge revelation as this was kept hidden.
        -Segi said to Rijin in Episode 5, “Make your choice, me or Cha Dohyun.” Clearly, if Segi resented the fact that Puppy has stolen Rijin’s identity, he’d hate to even refer Puppy as Cha Dohyun, but he never even hinted at that. The only reason he was angry at the mention of Cha Dohyun was because Rijin kept mentioning that name in front of him, and he was jealous, we could see the same reaction in Puppy when Rijin kept asking if he was Shin Segi and he replied with annoyance that he was Cha Dohyun.
        -Segi offered Seungjin Group to Rijin as a way to atone for his family’s sin, though I figured offering her name back should be the first on his list, had he known Rijin to be the real owner of the name.
        -Segi often remarked that Puppy was a coward who couldn’t deal with the past, but he never said anything about Puppy being fake. Surely a man as sarcastic as him would have called out on Puppy if he knew Rijin is the real Dohyun.

        Reasons why I don’t think Shin Segi is Puppy’s real name:
        -Mr.X has yet to make an appearance but I think he holds the key to Puppy’s real identity. It doesn’t make sense that every other alter was created with a name, except Mr.X, as if it was being hidden on purpose so we can get a revelation from him in the end. And all we have on him is ‘mysterious guy’, when it was revealed that Rijin was the real Dohyun, I think the biggest mystery that arises is “Then who is this Cha Dohyun (Puppy)?
        -To be continued, heh, I’m gonna go and watch my variety shows now, come back later.

  15. Just had a thought.
    I do think that Yo-sub is both an alter who Do-hyun(Puppy) made when he discovered he had DID at 17 in his despair and representing one way react to a problem: the desire to “run from it forever”, as mimi put it, as well as being the holder of many traits associated with his father, like his interest in art.

    However, the rooftop portraits he created are also kind of similar to the portraits that he in ep15 remembers drawing on the basement floor with Min Seo-yeon’s Do-hyun. I’m glad that they are showing both a negative and a positive association for his interest in art. 🙂

    I think in that memory that Do-hyun(JS) drew little Ri-jin and that little Ri-jin drew her mother Min Seo-yeon. T^T Puppy loved little Ri-jin so much!

    1. Maybe Yo-sub’s interest in art can be traced to little Ri-jin. The kids love to draw, Puppy loves little Ri-jin, and little Ri-jin loves Puppy’s presence.

      Ahhh Wednesday feels so far away….

  16. editing problem or a clue….the pic of ORJ in the locket was the pic from when her mom showed CDH the baby pics. ORJS’ mom wouldve been dead so she did not put that pic in the locket……….

    1. That picture is from the day that Ri-jin and Ri-on became twins, I believe. I think that Mama Ji put it in there afterwards as a symbolic sort of way to let Min Seo-yeon always be with her daughter.

      1. i thought it might be a clue because i read somewhere that oro said he was the son the son of a chaebol. The theory that ORO’s dad is related to Sengeuin Group’s Jun Pyo

        1. I don’t know if this is related, but based on the character description, Daddy Oh was sort of a chaebol. He was the sole heir to his father’s liquor business but he got cheated, because he loved to help people. Maybe Ri-on was just referring to this, or the writer was just trying to confuse us 😀

    2. Yeah, I agree with what zk said. If I’m not mistaken, the photo of little Ri-jin wasn’t originally there in the locket, because when little Ri-jin showed it to little Do-hyun (in one of the flashback/ memory scenes), only Seo-yeon’s photo was there.

Rant Out, Souls!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s