Kill Me, Heal Me – Episode 15

Do-hyun finally recovers the big chunk of his lost memories and it is a great way to provide a testament on how strong he has grown, since the day he declared his will to find the forgotten past and to face the truth, no matter how ugly it will be. Some things are easier said than done, but for someone who has been surviving in the frightening world by himself like Do-hyun, he might be able to conquer the pain. However, the bigger stake is that it involves his significant other, who might be hurt because of his fight this time. Instead of pain, regret might be bigger of an obstacle for him to overcome…

[Episode 15]

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It’s like watching every single bit of the memories he locked away in his brain came flooding Do-hyun’s mind at once, as he recalled each and every detail of the time he spent in the basement with the child, who turned out to be Ri-jin. The past and the present merged into one, just like how Se-gi was letting Do-hyun to have the memories which were once hidden from the host. Ri-jin’s nightmares and strange lines suddenly made sense to him, but Do-hyun fell onto his knees before letting the gravity to bring himself to the ground.

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Inside the villa, the unconscious Ri-jin was disturbed with yet another dream, but it was a collection of the memories she shared with Se-gi, Do-hyun…and another boy. They all uttered the ‘Remember’ lines, but the dream also included yet another scene from the basement, with little Ri-jin pleading for someone to be there faster when the clock struck nine. Do-hyun had not lost his consciousness yet and he tried to find his balance, while the image of his younger self playing with little Ri-jin in the basement crept up on his mind and also those memories of Se-gi spending time with Ri-jin. He became the target of the thugs again, who punched and kicked him until he fell onto the ground again, with Se-gi’s reminder of taking the pain for him echoing in his ears…

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Ri-jin stirred up and found herself in an unfamiliar place, while Madam Shin received the report that a man had managed to followed her thugs to save Ri-jin. She didn’t want to have her name involved in the case and the thugs withdrew from the scene after giving the almost lifeless Do-hyun a few god kicks. Poor puppy ㅠㅠ Ri-jin tried to open the door but it was locked, and a strange memory appeared, in which the younger version of her tried to do the same thing. She started to have trouble breathing properly and had to use a plastic bag she found there to help her regulate her breathing. She heard the voice of a boy promising to meet her at 10 PM, but the door opened to reveal a man trying to hit her. Ri-jin went to hide behind a stack of boxes, hiding her face between her knees, just like how little Ri-jin would do in Do-hyun’s memory.

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It was only a part of her memory, and the real door behind her was opened from outside. Do-hyun stepped in, with bloody face, apologizing for being late, just like how he used to do when they were young. He fainted on the spot and Ri-jin could only call his name…

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Ri-on managed to track down the house and arrived there shortly before Secretary Ahn, and the latter demanded to know who he was. Their introduction was cut short at the sound of cries coming from inside of the villa, and they went into the villa to find Do-hyun unconscious, with Ri-jin pleading for her brother to call the ambulance.

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Do-hyun was rushed to the hospital and Ri-jin sent him into the emergency unit (with her colleague wondering why she was there instead of being at John Hopkins), while Ri-on was monitoring her from behind, trying to see if she was okay. Although he urged her to be treated for shock or had a rest for a while, Ri-jin was only focused on Do-hyun’s condition for the time being and refused to budge from her seat outside the ICU, as Do-hyun was hurt because of her. That was enough to trigger Ri-on’s anger, and he stated that it could be possible that Do-hyun was the reason why Ri-jin was kidnapped in the first place. He was disappointed that Ri-jin didn’t even consider his worry for her while she was so worried over Do-hyun and walked away.

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He ran into Secretary Ahn on his way out and overheard the secretary’s conversation with someone over the phone, talking about the owner of the villa where Ri-jin was held captive. Ri-on wanted to know who the owner was but Secretary Ahn didn’t tell him since it was still under investigation, but Ri-on had his own method of finding it out. He warned the secretary that if his speculation was right, he himself couldn’t guess what he would do later.

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Do-hyun was later moved into a ward and Ri-jin stayed beside him, but Dr. Seok went looking for her to talk about their discussion before, regarding Ri-jin’s memories. Do-hyun had actually regained his consciousness and he only opened his eyes once Ri-jin left the room. I’m pretty sure that was Do-hyun and not any of his alters. Ri-jin shared with her professor about her experience, mentioning that it’s becoming more vivid this time, Dr. Seok found it strange that such thing happened and he himself wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad fate. Ri-jin was now sure that she was a part of Do-hyun’s forgotten past and they met at one point of their life when they were young, so she wanted to try recalling her own memories. She thought that it would be a great help to unite the broken pieces of Do-hyun’s inner self even with one of them recovering their memories, and she’s willing to do so for Do-hyun’s sake, because they had promised to overcome it together, no matter what it was; fear of the basement or any difficult matter.

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They had someone eavesdropping on their conversation and it was Do-hyun, and he just walked away from Dr. Seok’s office. Ri-jin went back to Do-hyun’s ward to find the room empty, and she could only imagine the worst. Her imagination might be almost true, because Do-hyun was standing near the edge of the rooftop, recalling the image of little Ri-jin in the basement. He held the photo of little Ri-jin (which he took from the album) high in the air, ready to let it go…but the promise he made with her to overcome everything together made him reconsider his decision. All of a sudden, Ri-jin ran towards him and pulled him down, chiding ‘Yo-sub’ for breaking his promise with her.

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Ri-jin: If you want to die, go and do it. But do it tomorrow. If it feels difficult again tomorrow, then die on the day after. If it’s still painful on that day, it’s not too late to die on the next or the next next day. If you stay alive for one more day, a good day will surely come. At that time, the moment you’ll feel like living will come! Please..please save Cha Do-hyun and leave him alone. Okay? Give it a try to live, so that his effort doesn’t go into waste. It’s been difficult for him, it will be too much to take away the possible happiness from him! Okay?

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Do-hyun opened his mouth, assuring her that he won’t die; because he’s got something to do, someone to protect, and something to say to that someone, so he couldn’t die just yet. Ri-jin was still able to joke with tears streaming down her face, thinking that it was the first time someone’s words about not dying became so touching and reassuring to her. She hugged Do-hyun tight, but the man could only look at the photo of little Ri-jin in his hand and stopped himself from hugging and comforting his crying lady.

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They walked back to the ward and Do-hyun didn’t wait for too long to ask Ri-jin about her decision to recall her childhood memories for his sake. Although it was Do-hyun, his voice sounded almost lifeless as Yo-sub’s at that moment. Ri-jin wondered how he found out about it, but he was thinking if it’s possible for her not to do it. He wished that she could live her life at it was; beside her happy family and all, instead of recovering her past. Ri-jin joked that he was probably scared because of the possible bad past they had between them, and joked that she could possibly be his first love after all.

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Tears welled in Do-hyun’s eyes and he tried to hide his face from her sight, while Ri-jin mused that it could be a good memory that would only bring good feelings for both of them. She wished that it would be a very good memory, and Do-hyun couldn’t contain his emotions anymore; he hugged her tight to hide his tears, while Ri-jin was wondering which part of her speech that made him cry like that. He stroked her hair and Ri-jin consoled her crying man.

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It was at a temple and Mama Ji went to visit someone there, asking whether something happened for that person to appear in her dreams with a sad face. She was only talking to Min Seo-yeon’s altar, wondering what made her friend so worried these days before recalling a conversation they had through the phone 21 years ago. President Min was pleading for Mama Ji to save her daughter to avoid ‘those people’ from taking her away, and promised to take her back after three days. She ended the call before leaving for a flight schedule from Seungjin building. Back to the present, Mama Ji chided her friend for not protecting her daughter, telling her friend that the daughter had grown up beautifully and got a handsome boyfriend.

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Someone had been spying over her and it was one of the men hired by Young-pyo, informing the (not really) old man that someone had adopted and raised President Min’s daughter since 21 years ago. Young-pyo was also being careful about the matter and just like Madam Shin, he wished not to have any relation to that business should it was known to others. Ki-joon wondered what his father was planning this time and remarked that rather than talking about someone else’s weak point, it seemed that his father was more keen on protecting his own weakness. Hmmmm suspicious!

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Madam Yoon and Chae-yeon was about to have lunch together when Madam Yoon brought up what she saw before: drunk Chae-yeon being escorted by Do-hyun at the hotel lobby. Chae-yeon wasn’t nervous about it although Madam Yoon was clearly giving her subtle warning not to be too close to Do-hyun, and remarked that she knew who Ki-joon took after when it came to his endless suspicion. Heh. She even thought that her future mother-in-law shouldn’t trust her, because she couldn’t even trust herself. She decided to deal with the matter using her own method and excused herself, knowing that they were not in the right mood to have lunch together at the moment.

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Chae-yeon’s mother became the victim afterwards, because Madam Yoon lashed out at her through the phone…and she gave up on nice words, thinking that Ki-joon wasn’t really a catch for her daughter and they could break off the engagement, if that’s what Madam Yoon really wanted. We need to see more of these mother-daughter scenes, because they sure know how to deal with the likes of Ki-joon’s family. The way Chae-yeon talked about, in order for her to deal with Ki-joon, was by suggesting to him that they break off their engagement. Her reason? Because she had someone she wanted to make hers, and she couldn’t possibly go to Ki-joon in her current state. She just apologized before walking out, leaving behind the ruby ring with Ki-joon. Of course, Ki-joon was quick to direct his anger towards Do-hyun, just like what he probably did all his life.

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Ri-on went to the hospital to send Ri-jin her clothes but Ri-jin had stepped out to Do-hyun’s house with the intention of taking some clothes for Do-hyun, so Ri-on decided that he could leave her belongings with Do-hyun. But then, he received the information from his private investigator friend that the land around the villa belonged to Madam Shin, so that villa was also hers. Do-hyun also learned about his own mother being the instigator behind Ri-jin’s kidnapping and he was about to head out when he received a call from Ri-on.

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There was no greetings for Do-hyun when he met Ri-on, because the man was fuming with anger and demanded to know why Do-hyun was ignoring his warning, despite being the Seungjin’s son. Do-hyun suddenly ‘received’ the memory of Se-gi and Ri-on’s encounter, including Ri-on’s words about his rights. He was on the brink of losing himself to the anger that was stirring inside him and his eyes were full of fury, mixed with sorrow.

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Ri-jin packed some clothes for Do-hyun and decided that it would be enough for his stay at the hospital, but a box inside Do-hyun’s wardrobe caught her attention. She was delighted to find out that it was full of Se-gi’s intended gifts for her, and Do-hyun still kept it in his possession! The toys reminded her of Se-gi and she chuckled at the memory, but the toy train brought another wave of strange memories. She saw a boy playing with a set of toy trains while promising that he won’t be late again. A girl’s voice promised to show the boy something cool if he could stay a bit longer, and Ri-jin repeated the lines as if she once uttered them herself. The image disappeared when she was distracted by a call, and it was Daddy Oh, telling her to come home and give her mother a shot, since her mother was feeling weak. Ri-jin couldn’t shake the feeling she had earlier and she kept staring at the spot where the image was once there.

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Se-gi didn’t come out this time, because there’s no way he would sit down together and have a civil conversation with Ri-on. Ri-on told Do-hyun about his history with Ri-jin: she became his twin sister at the age of seven, and she didn’t even remember that she lost her memories prior to her adoption. Ri-on made up fun stories whenever Ri-jin had nightmares, and he pretended that he was also scared of the basement just like her. He overheard his parents talking to each other one day and all of a sudden, the name Seungjin was mentioned. Ri-on stated that he became curious, whether Ri-jin had a connection to the chaebol family brought up by his parents, and he started to dig out information about Seungjin. He wanted to find out about Ri-jin’s lost memories first, so that he could decide whether he should tell her, or bury that knowledge altogether.But then, Ri-jin met Do-hyun and she started to recover her forgotten memories. Ri-on’s mind kept telling him that he should stop it, since their meeting would only bring sadness and heartaches, and Ri-jin would eventually recall her memories if she stayed beside Do-hyun.

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Ri-on: I beg you. Cha Do-hyun, please send Ri-jin away. The only one who can cut her off from you is you, Cha Do-hyun. So…I beg you.

Do-hyun broke his silence, asking if Ri-on could listen to his plea.

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Ri-jin went back home to treat Mama Ji and she bragged about the expensive IV pole she bought using her paycheck money. She said that she came out from her mother’s heart instead of the belly, and Mama Ji asked whether Ri-jin was curious about her birth parents or not. Ri-jin answered that she would ask her mother when she wanted to know about them, and Ri-on was outside the room, listening to their conversation. He begged for Do-hyun, in his mind, for him not to take away Ri-jin and their family’s happiness.

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Madam Shin was escorted to Do-hyun’s house by Secretary Ahn and when she asked why Do-hyun wanted to meet her, Secretary Ahn replied that it might had something to do with the thing she was thinking about at the moment. Ohhhh nice, Alfred Ahn! Do-hyun wanted to know the reason why his mother kidnapped Ri-jin and she gave the excuse of doing it not with her right mind. Did she even realize that Do-hyun was beaten up by the people she hired? Madam Shin was taken aback when Do-hyun mentioned Ri-jin being President Min’s daughter and made an excuse that she wanted to meet the lady to see if she had any ulterior motive by staying beside Do-hyun. Do-hyun couldn’t hide his disappointment when his mother was more relieved to find out that Ri-jin couldn’t remember anything about the past, instead of reflecting on what she did to the lady. He wondered if Madam Shin was even a human, or a human’s mother at least.

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Chairman Seo went to visit her son Jun-pyo and marveled about how he left home for six years before and now, he had been leaving his mother by herself for more than twenty years. She recalled the time when Jun-pyo returned home after six years of hiding without any news, bringing the six-year Do-hyun together with him when he met Chairman Seo. The little boy held tightly to his father’s hand, and Jun-pyo went back home because he needed the papers to send his son to school. He was probably not expecting to see Min Seo-yeon there and Chairman Seo explained that his father had brought his wife home after she left for the States, bringing with her their daughter, that was little Ri-jin.

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The two kids, unaware of the tension brewing between their parents, smiled warmly at each other during their first meeting.

The grandma blamed it all on little Ri-jin, because taking her in as Jun-pyo’s child was the beginning of their suffering, but she herself didn’t even know where to start, in order to find the exact cause of the whole things that happened.

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Do-hyun was not done talking with Madam Shin but this time, he’s willing to give her the last chance to follow him to the US and leave behind her greed for Seungjin. She couldn’t possibly do that, because it’s just a matter of time until Seungjin fell into Do-hyun’s hands. Madam Shin pleaded for Do-hyun to let her off the hook this once, and Se-gi gave Do-hyun another piece of his memory, that was the conversation Se-gi had with Chairman Seo when she was told to choose between Seungjin and her son, Jun-pyo. From his grandma to his mother, Do-hyun was honestly wondering where the end was to their greed, and presented to her the reason why he had no right to inherit Seungjin: his multiple personality and his broken self, caused by his own family.

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She thought that he was lying to her out of anger, but she realized that her son was telling the truth since she already met the violent Se-gi. Do-hyun explained that Se-gi was one of his alters, and her greed made him turn into what he was right now. What’s even more shocking (or was it expected?) was when Madam Shin started to calculate how many people knew about his illness and she decided that he should hide his illness. or he would lose his chance to get Seungjin. She’s too far gone, indeed, and Do-hyun decided to let the whole Seungjin, and the whole world, know about his illness if she refused to follow him to the US.

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On their way to Do-hyun’s house, Ri-on wondered if Ri-jin had made it as a hobby to spill her secrets one after another, and Ri-jin knew that their mother was probably shocked that Ri-jin remembered about her being adopted all along. After 21 years of living as herself, Ri-jin felt that it was time for her to find her forgotten memories, because she was curious whether those memories would shake her stable world. But then, she was confident that those memories won’t break her. Was it different back then: did she feel like she’s breaking down when the memories came to haunt her in the past? Ri-jin felt curious about what her past was hiding for her, and she also fluttered for the memories. Ri-jin wasn’t sure if the excitement she felt was because of Do-hyun, but more importantly, she thought that it was time for her to face her memories. Ri-on didn’t say anything and continued to drive.

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Ri-jin didn’t expect to see Do-hyun home since he was supposed to be at the hospital, and the supposedly sick guy was sitting there by himself in front of his house. She bid Ri-on goodbye and went to Do-hyun, asking why he was there outside. He answered that he was waiting for her, because he knew she would eventually be there. Ri-jin thought that he was just like her dog Rina, who would wait for her everyday, and told him to hold out his hand to her. He did so (like a faithful puppy) and Ri-jin stroked the pleased Do-hyun, as if he’s her puppy. Hehe. Ri-on had not left, and he recalled Do-hyun’s request earlier.

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Do-hyun: Please give me a day’s time before I send Oh Ri-jin away. When I think about it, I received so much from her but haven’t given her anything. Because of me, she is always nervous, always waiting for me, and always in tears. I rarely see her smiling brightly. One day…just for one day, please let me spend the whole day for her. I want to make her smile brightly. Because Oh Ri-jin was the first person who entered my empty, soulless castle. She was the first person to hold out her hands to me, to see the different eyes of mine, to ask for my name, to wait for my return nervously, to give me the warmest snowman in the world to me as a gift, to give me words of comfort, and to give me happiness just from looking at her. Hence, I am going to live the rest of my life trying to atone for my sins, living as the person inflicting the wounds on her.

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Do-hyun asked Ri-jin to go for a Snow Flower Train ride together on the next day, since they didn’t get to keep their promise before. Ri-jin readily agreed and jumped around excitedly like a little girl heading to a theme park. He recalled his words to Ri-on after making his request.

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Do-hyun: One day, when some time has passed by and Oh Ri-jin has forgotten everything about me..or when she doesn’t hold any emotion as she recalls the memories she has about me; if she happens to be in pain when the painful past haunts her, please convey these words to her. “You did nothing wrong. It wasn’t because you didn’t have the right to receive love that you were abused; you have every right to receive all the love, and as much as you deserve the love, you deserve to be the most dazzling, twinkling, brightest, and the loveliest person. So forget it all, and be someone that will receive all the love in the world.

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[END of Episode 15]

If words can describe the state of my heart right now, it’s not to much to say that it’s like a lump of minced meat. I don’t know how many liters of tears I shed this morning (and I had to drink lots of water since my head was spinning) but that can’t be compared to Do-hyun’s state of heart in this episode, right?

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Can this be categorized as a noble idiocy, or will it give birth to another term known as noble wisdom? It sure looks like a wise move from Do-hyun’s point of view, because he’s thinking that Ri-jin will only continue to suffer if she stays beside him, and she will be forced to face the painful memories of her past. He sees himself as the trigger to Ri-jin’s memories, just like how she is to him, and he’s willing to keep it all to himself as long as his lady can continue to live happily ever after. Is that really a wise decision for him to make at this point?

I have a feeling that he will try to leave on his own even without Ri-on’s request, because he’s already trying to let go of the past on the rooftop, and he will eventually sacrifice his own happiness when he feels that he’s threatening her stable life. With Ri-on’s request, he finds a more solid ground for him to justify his action. I don’t blame Ri-on this time, because he is acting like a true brother to Ri-jin. Who will stand by and do nothing when the perfect life of our family is about to be taken away? That is a common reflex, but he realizes (and acknowledges) how painful it is for Do-hyun.

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Everyone is trying to be a knight on their own to protect each other, yet they only manage to hurt each other unintentionally. No one is to be blamed; at least not among Do-hyun, Ri-jin, and Ri-on, but like what Chairman Seo said: no one knows who is the person to be blamed for in the whole problem. Was is Seungjin? Or was it Min Seo-yeon? Or was it Chairman Seo? Or Jun-pyo? We can only wait, but those people might have an inkling on who the true culprit behind the problem, the conspiracy, and the secret.

As much as both Ri-on and Do-hyun are trying to protect her, Ri-jin herself knows what she wants to do, and she has stated that it feels like the time has arrived for her to face her nightmares. I wish that she will get to explain and persuade those guys that she’s ready for it, no matter how painful it is. True, she doesn’t realize how ugly it was; the memories she thought to be beautiful, but there’s no turning back right now. We can only wish that she can forget everything she has remembered so far, even if there are only bits and pieces to the big (ugly, nasty) picture of her past, but human’s curiosity will never stop. Ri-jin herself will find the forgotten memories, unless she herself decides to lock away the past again. She trusts herself, and I hope that the people around her will provide her with the support she needs. Who knows, the sweet memories Ri-jin had with Do-hyun in the past, combined with the love she received both in the past and in the present, will turn her into a brighter, shinier, and stronger person than she has ever been.

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Just because…I love this shot.

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[+] Since I’ve been trying to distract myself from thinking about the drama but to no avail, I might just as well give it a deep thought..and here’s more of my take on the episode.

Gestures are being used a lot in this drama, and those featured in episode 15 are very poignant, in my opinion. The touches, the stares, and even the littlest actions by the characters convey their emotions, sometimes even more effective compared to words. One of the scenes that grabbed my attention earlier was when Do-hyun was first brought to Seungjin mansion by his father, Jun-pyo. The little boy held tight to his father’s hand, unwolling to let go of the only support he had in the unfamiliar place he was at that time. He seemed to rely on his father, and Jun-pyo himself made the decision to return to his family because of Do-hyun. Perhaps, he was initially a caring father, but what happened between him and Seo-yeon afterwards was too much for him to endure, and he gave in to his inner monster, lashing out his anger on the closest person to Seo-yeon, that was little Ri-jin. The stern father we saw in Do-hyun’s memory earlier was probably the wounded Jun-pyo, who felt that Do-hyun had to be better than anyone else, so that the kid won’t end up as him. He might have seen Do-hyun as his only hope to get over his broken heart because of Seo-yeon, and the best thing for him to do was to groom Do-hyun into the man he didn’t get to be.

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Jun-pyo’s great expectations placed upon Do-hyun were affected when his son turned out to be close with the last person he wanted to see: the proof of his failed love, the thorn in his eyes that was Ri-jin. The little girl was probably locked in the basement once Seo-yeon left for the overseas, as the flashback of Mama Ji suggested. Jun-pyo did it, Chairman Seo turned a blind eye on it, and Madam Shin didn’t do anything to stop it, because pushing Ri-jin out of the picture meant good opportunity for Do-hyun’s future. The last thing Jun-pyo wanted Do-hyun to do was to forge a connection with Ri-jin, but he happened to find out about their friendship and Do-hyun’s frequent visits to the basement. Thus, he made use of their friendship to have Do-hyun’s obedience, in the cruelest way possible…that was to turn Ri-jin into Do-hyun’s human talisman. Each time Do-hyun made a mistake, Ri-jin would be the one receiving the hits in his stead, taking in the torture in Do-hyun’s place. Even if Jun-pyo’s intention was to raise Do-hyun into a stronger man, his method was wrong, and he had actually inflicted deep wounds in the hearts of both Ri-jin and Do-hyun.

When Do-hyun went to rescue Ri-jin, he was probably thinking that he could sacrifice himself, if that’s what it takes for him to save her from harm, even for that one time. Getting himself beaten into a pulp was nothing to him, because he was well aware that Ri-jin suffered worse things than him in the past. He wanted to become her human talisman this once, taking in the beatings that might be directed at her: ten times, or even hundred times, because nothing will be enough for him to compensate for the horrifying experience she had because of him.

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Madam Shin was really something, and only God knows to what extent she will go to make Seungjin fall into Do-hyun’s hands. Is it for his sake, or is it her own greed to make up for the humiliation she received all her life with Seungjin? Is her greed exceed her love for her son, or does she view wealth as her own way of showing her affection towards Do-hyun? Do-hyun’s expressions said it all; he was disappointed, angry, and sad to see his mother acting like that, and he even refused her touch. Was he wondering about his mother’s sincerity at that moment? Still, he was able to get hold of his emotions and prevent himself from hiding in the room inside him, facing her with an ultimatum, that was to leave with him or to see his future being destroyed forever.

Looking back at Do-hyun’s alters, I see them as tenants renting the rooms inside Do-hyun’s heart. They know about the landlord (Do-hyun) and they seem to be aware of his problems, but they only take what they are given and live their roles separately, as if they’re just normal neighbours. Except that they aren’t really normal, since they’re given the chance to occupy Do-hyun’s body when he’s having a hard time. Although Do-hyun was the one who ‘gave birth’ to them through his effort to protect himself, it is still amazing how he managed to specify each and every alter’s role, even without he himself realizing about it. Se-gi as the protector and the memory vessel; Yo-na as the unpredictable troublemaker to distract himself from the torturous moments; Yo-sub who always choose death as the way out from those moments; and Nana as his own version of Ri-jin he made in his head. Ferry is still a mysterious alter: he always comes out when Do-hyun is excited, and I can’t help but to bring back one of my predictions about him. Was he an image of Jun-pyo that Do-hyun created himself? Or perhaps..was Jun-pyo living like Ferry prior to the father-son going back to Seungjin: fooling around and drinking to no end while wishing to be able to do something significant in his life? I wish we can get more insights behind each alter’s existence, but we are running out of time.

We have yet to see the last alter: the mysterious Mr. X, whose details are still kept secret from us. Who is this refined gentleman? Now that I think of it, Do-hyun has never been pushed to the brink with his memories intact; he has been pushed to his limits when his memories were not there, but he had never experienced extreme whirlwind of emotions while being aware of the whole situation. I predict that X will be Do-hyun’s last resort to deal with the people who destroyed his childhood, not to mention Ri-jin’s, and he might be produced out of Do-hyun’s desire to take care of everything. The other alters seem to be dormant for a while up to this while, and now that Do-hyun has found his lost memories, he doesn’t have to run away from those memories and hide behind his alters. But then, it’s worth anticipating how Do-hyun+memories will face the greedy members of Seungjin, and if it will involve Mr. X, then it will be more interesting.

I don’t see Ki-joon and Do-hyun joining hands for the time being but I can get behind Ri-on and Chae-yeon’s pairing. Uh-hum~ But first, let us see Do-hyun and Ri-jin until the end first, living the rest of their lives together, happily…and with lots of bouncing babies. After making us shed buckets of tears (and more to come tonight), it’s only fair that we’re given such ending, so that we can see them building a loving family of their own.

Thank you for the comments, everyone 🙂 You know all of you mean a lot to me, right? Let’s survive together and watch this drama until the end! Group hug is always available over here~

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54 thoughts on “Kill Me, Heal Me – Episode 15

  1. If u noticed JiSung may have been promoting “Shine or Go Crazy” a bit in his conversation w/ RiOn. Hehe.
    I hope this drama doesn’t turn into one of those, ‘he-goes-to-America-then-comes-back-and-we-fall-back-in-love-happily-ever-after’ dramas since I smell an ever so slight scent of that brewing.
    Since he recovered the ‘important’ part of his memories, will his alters not come back anymore? Or just SeGi? I mean DoHyun remembered everything that happened while he was SeGi.
    Also, what happened to Mr.X? Lol, we never seen him, or even heard of him in the drama. Besides when YoSeob drew him in graffiti I think to the side if I remember correctly. Maybe it was someone else?
    I need to go back and watch that part again (the YoSeob part) b/c I feel like it had lots of foreshadowing.
    Conclusion: I hope SeGi is not gone!!!!!!!!!!!!

      1. I went back and watched the snippets of YoSeob, and snapshot every little detail w/ graffiti.
        And according to my research, there were 8-9+other people YoSeob drew besides the alters that showed up so far. There were four to the left and four (?) to the right (behind the bars and construction equipment) and one on the floor of the right.
        I’m pretty sure that two of the four on the left was the father… But idk about the rest. (Also on the paint can it said 94, 21 years ago!!!)
        Thinking back, it’s not only SeGi who had the memories, the other alters did too. But weren’t/ aren’t very cooperative enough.
        Anyways, Mr. X needs to come soon.
        I think it was Nana who showed up after DoHyun met RiJin right? Nana is the newest one???

      2. @The Korean K-POPper Ooh, very insightful. Thank you for sharing your findings about Yo-seob’s pictures.

        Nana might be the newest created, or I think she might have been there ever since the fire but never came out until meeting Ri-jin stimulated her.
        What I’m wondering now is about that white bear that was the original Nana. From what I could tell, the bear in Do-hyun’s memories this episode looks just like the one now in the Seungjin wine cellar. …It’s not really the same one is it…? I’m sure the original must have been destroyed in the fire. Well, I bet they are just supposed to look similar and it is nothing to get hung up upon, but it makes me pause how they are really the same. Whichever alter bought or made that bear, it wasn’t just for the alter Nana to have something fun to play with, but really part of her identity…

        I’ve seen some people elsewhere discussing that the alter Nana must be a stuffed bear not a little girl, but I think the name “Nana” is both what the alter calls her stuffed bear as well as the name of the alter herself, since Yo-na said that “Nana” was playing with bear that Se-gi bought for Ri-jin and we have seen clear evidence that she can move. So, I think that, as has been said before by others here, the alter is in part Do-hyun’s inner creation of Ri-jin twenty-one years ago when he thought that she died in the fire.

        I wonder if the alter Nana and Ri-jin will ever meet face to face…

      3. @The Korean K-POPper I don’t think the other alters have Dohyun’s memories, except maybe Yosub who shows a little recognition toward Rijin at the start. Others don’t seem to recognize Rijin at all. And I tried getting a closer look at Yosub graffiti at first, to find clues, but they seem to be just potraits of all the other alters, he just drew a couple more. But I could be wrong. Nothing seem to be insignificant in this drama, and I love that it gets our brain working at all the possibilities.

    1. starting from this ep..I think..no one of the other character will be shown clearly. all of them include segi will be only flashback memory or just mumble in do hyun mind.. and for Nana, I don’t think Do Hyun will change to her.. because Nana is RiJin. Nana seems like appear when DoHyun miss her..and once during Yo Na appearance maybe as girl chinggu??

    2. I think Segi is pretty much done with his roles, unless the writer decides to bring him back on popular demand. As for other alters, I think since they correspond to Dohyun’s certain emotions, if Dohyun is willing to face these emotions himself, they pretty much done with their roles too. I am curious of Mr. X as well, Yosub did not draw him in the graffiti.

  2. this drama is just so full of emotions, I just love DoHyun, RiJin and RiOn so much. please don’t cry. and I hope RiJin with her usual passion will be able get everybody out of this dark void! T^T

    1. I don’t think they will ruin the storyline with them become sibling.. :). Or maybe I can say I’m pretty sure they are not :).
      If yes.. I’m prefer the drama with main character die at the end… :((.

    2. I think that we can infer that when the grandmother told Do-hyun’s father that Ri-jin was his child in the flashback that that was a lie that she told at first. That is why when she was lamenting in present time by his bedside about what went wrong she said while picturing Ri-jin from the flashback, “[…] If only that child was your(Joon Pyo) child, this tragedy would not have begun,” according to the viki subs.

      1. looking for the Jun Pyo face expression, seems like Ri-Jin is not his daughter.
        Flashback that, the grandfather is very dear his daughter in-law.. can it be Ri Jin is Jun Pyo younger sister rather than daughter.. or I’m thinking too much?????

      2. but it still a worst scenario if there are untie & nephew relation same like sibling relation..

        Ooo sure I’m wrong!! no..no..undwae!! They are not related at all..chaebal…

      3. @Cik Dley I think that what we have been shown lately suggests that Ri-jin has no blood ties to the Cha family. Perhaps her father was someone whom Min Seo Yeon met when she was in the US or she might have had an affair and that is what caused the rift between her and Joon-pyo.

        I am wondering if the reports about Cha Gun Ho, the deceased grandfather, cherishing Min Seo Yeon aren’t completely true; if his going to get her was more just a necessity because Joon-pyo disappeared and he tolerated her bringing Ri-jin because they needed an heir since MSY was still legally married to Joon-pyo, but Joon-pyo was gone and perhaps presumed dead. Though perhaps Ri-jin was never added to the family register, because the grandmother might have put it off as long as possible in her hopes that her son, Joon-pyo would return. And, perhaps MSY had not been back in Korea for very long before Joon-pyo returned with Do-hyun along, because otherwise she probably would have already visited Mama Ji, right…?

        I wonder what could have forced MSY to leave on a plane trip if she thought her daughter was in danger…? What alerted her that her daughter was in danger and what could have convinced MSY that she had to leave the country for three days immediately rather than take a few hours to get Ri-jin first?

        MSY told Mama Ji that she would be back for Ri-jin in three days. Little Ri-jin told Do-hyun that her mother told her if she just slept three times then she would come get her. I wonder though… the striped shirt that Ri-jin is wearing in that memory is different from the dress that Ri-jin is wearing in her memory of when she is pounding on the door begging to be let out. Was she already locked up periodically while MSY was still alive…?

        And, was Cha Gun Ho supposed to go on the plane trip with Min Seo Yeon or was he only in the car to escort her make sure that she left the country…?
        Questions, questions… ^^;

  3. watching this ep, while recalling the subtitle of Moon Myung Jin’s song… I feel lost… and its more painful to watch Do Hyun to much care about Ri-jin being hurt, instead of himself, who I think suffered the most during the times because of the guilt and DID while Ri Jin is lucky to have such a great family who give her energy to ignore the past and be stronger during their childhood.. ;(

  4. Can I watch this episode later..? Huhuuuhuuu this episode looks soo much pain in the heart! To think that my poor heart can’t bear this. waaaaa

  5. Ooof, I can hear my heart shattering into pieces, my heart aches so much for Dohyun in this episode. Jisung is very rich in his expressions of Dohyun and his alters, it’s easy to feel the anguish and sorrow Dohyun carries in his eyes. I haven’t watch this episode but I’m already bawling just from reading your recap. I was angry at Rion when I watched the preview, but when I get to see the whole picture and the part where he begged Dohyun to give up on Rijin for her sake, I couldn’t even bring myself to hate him because everyone’s pain and fear are very much justified and relatable. One can argue that it’s all in the past and they can make new memories to counter the old ones, but whose to say those memories won’t kill them as it’s been killing Dohyun’s subconsciousness for years?

    Arguably, no one is at fault here for what happened in the past, but they’re not right either, for making future decisions without letting the person in question know and make her own decisions. I can see the same determination in Rijin, as Dohyun, to recover the lost times, and she has every right to see for herself and make up her mind whether to forgive or to hate the Seungjin’s family, and to give up or to hold onto Dohyun. It might be painful at first but I believe Rijin is no damsel in distress, and she’d recover from it if everyone’d just give her a chance and help her along the way. Plus she received so much love to help her get through this, unlike Dohyun who fought a lonely battle. Dohyun may already regret delving into the past, but unlocking the memory box has helped him to be a better and stronger man. I get that Dohyun wish for Rijin to never unlock her Pandora box and stay happy as she is, but I don’t think he understand that Rijin’s happiness includes him and they had promised to get through everything together. I was hoping he’d hold onto the promise, despite being the source of her past affliction.

    I feel Dohyun’s conflict in holding onto Rijin, as he had said to his father (as Shin Segi) and mother before, they had turned him into a beast (with his DID) and no longer a victim, because he was a bystander and perpetrator by association, so naturally he feels he has no right or claim over Rijin. And being with her, he thinks, may inflict greater pain, especially if she was to uncover the past. Segi acknowledges the same when Rion said to him “because you’re the son of Seungjin Group’, even the strong-willed Segi couldn’t fight Rion back because what he said was true, and the guilt is very real and raw for anyone to handle. We’re already in a hot mess because of the secret spilling out, let alone Dohyun and Rijin who suppressed the painful memories of their childhood just to survive and make it this far. I feel his heartbreak, but I don’t necessarily agree to his choice of leaving Rijin to let her be happy, because we all know they’re in this too deep to back out now. I fear for this moment for the longest time, yet I’m happy we finally come to the angst part of the drama, because this is the moment everyone gets confronted with the conflict and we get to watch them overcome this. I hope they won’t stay in the angst for long because I don’t think I can handle my waterfall dam breaking at every tear-stricken face Dohyun makes. How is it that he’s able to make me cry just from seeing his pained pictures?

    Though the journey of healing has been ongoing since the reunion of Dohyun and Rijin, I think the real healing will only come after we get through the ‘killing’ part, at this point of the story. Everyone is practically stuck at the past, unable to move on because the older generations desperately try to hide the past. Now that the secret is out, they’d be forced to deal with it properly and die a little inside, just as the kids did when they were experiencing the emotional and physical abuse. With only 4 episodes left, I dread the moment we need to bid farewell to all these wonderful characters, they’ve grown on me so much I’m not willing to let go of them just yet, can’t they just continue to show us full-on happy moments for 50 episodes or something, I can totally dedicate my time to watch that. Or maybe throw me a few bones (OTP kissing) and I’d be this drama’s dog forever.

    On a side note, how funny is that Rijin treats Dohyun as puppy! I totally want a puppy like Dohyun!

    1. all Do Hyun scatter character being together now.. dohyun+segi+yo sub..
      how great Ji sung able to portray the character separately and even together now.. salute him!

    2. I totally love the camera angle of Dohyun and Rion sitting together with a reflection of Dohyun on the side, it felt like Segi joined in on the conversation, as he did during Dohyun conversation with Rijin at the hospital. This scene where two men cried for the same girl same reason also come off really powerful, Rion cried with the realization what he asked of Dohyun is unfair and painful, Dohyun with the realization that Rion is right in his concern and request. This had got to be my favorite scenes among the many kiss scenes and sweet moments of our OTP.

      1. I didn’t realize you were replying to my comment the first time. I don’t think Yosub or any of the other alters, except Segi, have merged with Dohyun. Segi allowed himself to be integrated with Dohyun when he let his memory flows into Dohyun’s. The bigger puzzle at the moment is, what conflict will Mr. X brings into the story and what role he has in reunification of Dohyun and all his other alters, will he be the antagonist? I certainly hope so, if not this character is totally wasted considering how long we waited for him. Throwing us a curveball during the last moment will certainly build more momentum and great impact as it hits us. I can’t wait!

      2. Ok, I’m getting my comments all mixed up. I meant to reply to @Cik Dley in recent comment.

        @zk I can’t imagine when I do watch it tonight, I’ll probably start bawling all over again.

      3. @maryxiah “[Watch] it with a box of tissues” and I’d recommend a warm drink to calm you afterwards as well. I think that scene is one of the best I have ever seen whether it be in Kdrama or any other story. I want to watch it again it was that good, except my heart needs a break.

      4. @zk I know, right! And they claimed this to be rom-com! How dare they hurt us like this, baiting us with all the sugary moment of the OTP, and give us a cry fest down the corner! I’m so going to marathon this over and over again after it ends.

      5. That scene is also my favorite. The best thing is when Do Hyun ask Ri On to convey his word to Ri Jin if she suffered with her memory.

        “You did nothing wrong. It wasn’t because you didn’t have the right to receive love that you were abused;
        You have every right to receive all the love, and as much as you deserve the love,
        You deserve to be the most dazzling, twinkling, brightest, and the loveliest person.
        So forget it all, and be someone that will receive all the love in the world.”

        It seems that the writer also want to convey this to another people that abused in the past…

  6. Many things broke me this episode. Little Ri Jin with all the bruises and cuts on her face, and Do Hyun’s speech at the end which made me sob.

    I have no idea what’s gonna to happen next, or what plot’s gonna be. I’m not even sure what a happy ending would look like at this point. My guess is that Ri Jin remembers everything before Do Hyun leaves and goes after him. Man, the only thing we need in this cluster is for Jun Pyo to wake up. That would be the cherry on top.

  7. Thank you very, very much for this recap.

    I feel like a limp, wrung-out rag, but I’m expecting good things of the episodes to come.

    I saw some stills of Ri-jin crying on the beach with Ri-on beside her, presumably after Do-hyun has left her. From what they showed in the preview, I wish she had head-butted Do-hyun as he walked away from her -like she head-butted Ri-on on the day they became twins- and was up to stopping him right then. However, I have hope that after she cries she will stand up again and start pursuing things, because I think she meets Seo Tae-im on a day after their Snowflake train ride.

    Also, since Do-hyun’s mother is still bent on not letting go of their stake in Seungjin and shown scheming, I think things will never get as far as Do-hyun actually leaving for the States.

    I can hardly believe their are only five more episodes to go…

    1. @zk Episode 16 seems like another angsty episode, even the date seem melancholic. I don’t know if I can bear watching it. The scene of Dohyun walking away from Rijin, with his back on her, tears welling up in his eyes, I almost cry here at the office. T_T Puppy~~

      1. Yeah, it will probably put us through the wringer again with the parting, and Ri-jin recalling more, and with Do-hyun’s mother’s machinations.

        But, I’m hoping it will lead to a big step forward for next week’s episodes. …I’m rather curious if Papa Oh and Mama Ji will show up next ep. They could possibly act as a balm for our tired hearts depending on what their reactions are.

        And, I wonder what role Chae-yeon still has to play in the story. Ki-joon was on the trail of finding out about Do-hyun’s DID through his old friend Alex, but I can’t imagine how the writer is going to utilize Chae-yeon.

        1. I don’t know. Her character seems pretty much useless to me since day 1. I never cared enough for her, yet she managed to rile me up when she made Dohyun break his snow train date with Rijin. Ironically, I love melo drama, but seeing Rijin and Dohyun going through ‘melo’ part makes me so sad I couldn’t bear it.

      2. @zk Ki Joon and Chae Yeon story probably planned as the second love line plot, but theirs are outshine by the main OTP.
        The early episode showed that they were enjoyed playing Do Hyun because he was a meek one. Both of them are shrewd so when Ki Joon got upped by Se Gi and Chae Yeon no longer got affection from Do Hyun, they became unhappy with this development.
        Ki Joon could be a decent man considering he was willingly apologize to Chae Yeon and trying to make up that with a sweet proposal, but the Ice-Lady never satisfied with it and still asking more for her. What a match made in heaven both of them…

      3. @Maryxiah
        I knew we are in for angst now, there are 4 more episodes left after tonight episode. If we give them a full episode to go back to happy mode at the end then I guess two episodes heartbreak is pretty much a good assumption. I hope they don’t stretch it beyond that limit. Lots of story-line up in the air. Chae Yeon and Ki Joon for example, they are not important in any way at all at this point. Do Hyun doesn’t want to be the heir to the Seung Jin group so the inheritance conflict is gone and that makes both of their role pretty useless. I don’t think its their fault. There is so much story to tell, there characters got sidelined and I for one am thankful to the writers for that. Also, the OTP trust each other and have a legitimate reason to walk away for the time being. I know I was one of those people screaming no noble idiocy but Do Hyun at this point has to give Ri Jin the time to figure out her own identity, face her nightmare and she has to make the decision. I just hope once she does make the decision, then he won’t try to push her away. Lots of people were mad at Ri On after today’s episode but for me even his actions seemed perfectly normal. Do Hyun’s presence threatens the safety and happiness of his family and his sister, I get that he doesn’t want him around the Oh family anymore. I dislike Do Hyun’s mother more and more. She accused the grandmother of being cold, she is more greedy and selfish than even the grandmother. At least the grandmother seems to genuinely love her comatose son.
        And as for Chae Yeon, I have this crazy thought since yesterday. I would like to see her interact a bit with Ri On. As horrible as she is, the actor playing her character was a laugh riot in Hong siter’s drama Master’s Sun and I loved her in there. I don’t know if it would be possible now but I’d really like to see her interact a bit with Ri On. And Ki Joon, how about Do Hyun comes clean to him and asks for his help to teach his mother, grandmother and his uncle(He seems shady to me) lessons. That way even his character won’t go to waste.

      4. @Lea The thing is, everyone is mad not because Rion acted out of his selfish desires (as visible when he cried hearing Dohyun’s words), but he does this without considering the real heartbreak Rijin will suffer losing Dohyun, just when she’s starting to venture into her past that she sealed long time ago. She’s willing to explore this pain on her own account, and I think they need to give her some credit, this girl is strong, she’s dealt with the most difficult person -Yona, I think she can make up her own mind how to deal with this pain. And I don’t think their split if justified, not when Rijin doesn’t even know the real reason. Though if Rijin decides to take a break from Dohyun AFTER she remembers everything, then we have no reason to argue, because she’s her own person and she has rights to decide for herself.

        As for Chaeyeon and the actress who play her, I don’t have much opinion on her, partly because I didn’t think she has a presence as a character, even Sec Ahn fulfill greater role than her. I think Rion should end up with the girl he was flirting with, before Rijin called him to say she had nightmares again, that girl was cute!

  8. I shed quite a lot of tears in this episode. It would be a testament to these actors’ sheer talent that i keep tearing up even as my mind tells me Dohyun should have known better than to try to leave Rijin now that his dangerous family has made it obvious that they are not going to leave her alone as soon as they find her. Dohyun already knows his uncle, grandma and mom are looking to find the child, so he should make sure he’s beside Rijin 24/7 in order to protect her now.

  9. Help me please..the tears won’t stop after watching this episode!!!soooo heartbreaking if dohyun decide to leave rijin right now..seungjin group will not leave her even dohyun back to US because of their greed!!!

    @zk i can’t see button reply on your comment but i love your questionable question.. maybe seoyun know something that she not supposed to know planned by chairwoman and junpyo and she get threaten to leave by a plain trip and being a good mother she will not risk her daughter by bring her along..rijin might be locked after her mom going on that trip..so many assumption on our side right..but i know rijin can face her past memory strongly right now because she has us her suppoter..kkk ^_~
    *wish to know the weakness of kijoon father has buried..he also looked suspicious!

    1. Oh!forgot to mention..when will mr.x appeared???really curious what kind of situation that will make mr.x debut as dohyun alters…hehe

      1. @somebodytolove, “Mysterious Mr. X” really does live up to his name doesn’t he?

        Some have wondered if we will ever see him or if he got dropped as the story plan changed -which wouldn’t be all that unusual in a live-shoot Kdrama-. However, I think that we still have time for him to come onto the stage. Because Do-hyun is getting stronger, we might not see his alters taking over when he is awake as often, but I think they might still be able to come out when he is sleeping.
        I think maryxiah’s idea from comment: https://thetalkingcupboard.wordpress.com/2015/02/26/kill-me-heal-me-episode-15/comment-page-1/#comment-20046 that Mr.X might be an antagonist is rather scary, but if Mr. X isn’t one and also doesn’t hold some necessary clue to figuring out the remaining mystery in a way that will allow Do-hyun to protect either Ri-jin or himself, then I can’t imagine yet what role he might have to play in this last arc of the story.

        Well, I think episode 16 will probably give us a clue. I have a wish, though. If either Mr. X or Yo-seob do know something that Se-gi doesn’t then I hope they meet Ri-on, because I still want to see more interaction between Ri-on and Do-hyun.

        Now, I’ve picked up my heart from the floor after episode 15 by watching some of the lighter-hearted video’s over on the “Parodies Galore post. I have a box of tissues and some chocolate at hand and in a little over three hours the raw of episode 16 will probably be uploaded on viki. I’m as ready as I can be…

      2. @zk Haha, sorry I scared you there. I think years of watching drama with my mom gets me addicted to makjang and dramatic plotline. It’s just that we’ve seen all Dohyun’s alters bringing messes that Dohyun needed to clean up, but never one so outrageous or evil to the point that he couldn’t handle it, even Segi seems a little soft despite his threats to Dohyun. Part of me was thinking, Mr. X could be a relfection of his father, and from what we’ve seen of him, Cha Jun Pyo is definitely not an angel. But it could be just my wistful thinking, since 4 episodes aren’t enough to cover more ground for a new antagonist role, it’d be great to have some conflicts before our happily ever after, though I assumed after tonight’s episode, everyone’d be surprised because we’re thrown yet another curveball! I totally did not expect that! (I was camping silently at soompi earlier)

      3. @maryxiah Somehow “curveball” seems putting it mildly. I gave in to camping silently at soompi as well today, and my mind is now goo. I am looking forward to when the recap is out to discuss episode 16 further -With many thanks in advance to @muchadoaboutlove whenever she manages to post it!-.

        I actually think that both the alters Shin Se-gi and Ahn Yo-seob have a trait (habit, interest respectively) in common with Cha Jun-pyo, so it wouldn’t surprise me if Mr. X does have something in common with CJP as well, but I don’t know if it will be his nature or simply another sort of shared habit. Well, I’ll go into my views on that further in the post for episode 16. I still need to finish picking up my boggled wits before I can trust myself to explain it in a way that will hopefully make sense. ^^;

  10. I know some people might really get sick of me raving of ‘Secret’ but the snow-train date really resembles Jisung/Jungeum pre-breakup date on ‘Secret’. Except in ‘Secret’, they were both aware of the impending breakup and decided to spend the day making memories to make up for the heartbreak, and Jungeum was the one who asked for a breakup, while Jisung was powerless to say no. And they spent the day happily before getting crushed by the seperation, both were crying their hearts out as they walk different path. This is really going to break me like it did in ‘Secret’.

    1. Hi @xiah 😉

      You see..currently I’m downloading ‘Secret’ because of Jisung and Jungeum. I know the story will makes my eyes flooded with tears (read many comments and all those wonderful recaps about the melo drama) Hell yeah I’m ready for that! ;p

      And I love your insights about the drama! Peace~

      1. gladly..you think like I am..hahaha..I just finish watching them last 2 days..becoz waiting for next ep is quit unbarerable ..I need some tonic to cure that 😀

      2. @half-assed Otaku

        Please, call me Mary. 🙂 Although I love ‘Secret’ to death, I’m always hesitant to promote it because it can be really intense and quite repulsive to some, imagine someone get abused and she fall for the abuser, ‘Secret’ falls closely on that territory, I don’t know how I managed to get through the first 6 episodes, but they were the hardest since I couldn’t understand Jisung’s character at all, but it gets better. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. And thank you for your kind words, I tend to ramble and ramble, quite often out of topics, so I was surprised people paid attention. 😀

  11. I think I get what you’re trying to say with the term ‘noble wisdom’. In this situation, it really seems like the only way to protect Ri-jin is to separate her from Do-hyun. (Unlike other dramas when the separation was totally unnecessary and the problem could be otherwise easily resolved.) However, in spite of knowing this, this noble act is exactly what I feared. :/ I’d very much rather both of them go through this together without any thoughts of needing to leave the other.

    I also think that this episode managed to show/emphasize another point (more than episode 13 and 14) – the clear distinction between how Ri-jin acts around Ri-on and Do-hyun. She seems a lot more comfortable around Ri-on and is able to speak her mind freely. For each scene in this episode that she shares with Ri-on, she is always talking comfortably and all. Whereas when she is with Do-hyun, it seems to me like she has to maintain a cheery facade due to her concern for Do-hyun’s mental health. The whole kidnapping incident is definitely pretty intimidating and huge. But she still manages to smile and keep things light around Do-hyun. Alas, I think this’ll only make things more difficult for Do-hyun and will only strengthen his resolve to be the one to protect her.

    On a separate note, since there’re talks regarding Secret in the comment section, I went to watch Secret too after marvelling at Ji Sung and Hwang Jung-eum’s acting in KMHM. I was completely blown away. While they acted as the main couple in both shows, the vibe that they gave off for either of the shows are completely different. I couldn’t sense a tinge of Do-hyun in Ji Sung’s Secret character, vice versa. Same for Hwang Jung-eum. I could watch both shows concurrently without being reminded of the other. On top of that, both actors have this amazing ability of capturing our emotions. Ugh. I can’t even.

    Now all i’m hoping for is just a happy ending for Do-hyun and Ri-jin. I don’t think my heart’ll be able to take it if the writers decide to give them a sad or a twisted form of happy ending (i.e. both of them not being together but ended up settling for being happy in their own situations).

    1. @Liting

      I saw in the ‘Kill Me, Heal Me’ press conference that both Jisung and Jungeum acknowledged their chemistry in ‘Secret’ and wanted to work on rom-com after finishing ‘Secret’. ‘Secret’ was a heavy melo, and probably not an easy one to digest as ‘Kill Me, Heal Me’. But I loved the fact that both of them wanted to challenge different roles with each other, and chose to be paired up in ‘Kill Me, Heal Me’.

      Since I watched ‘Secret’ before ‘Kill Me, Heal Me’, I can’t help but to be reminded of the former whenever a familiar scenes happen. Ex, Jisung did the same head shielding when he escort Jungeum to his car in ‘Secret’; the pre-breakup date; Jungeum crying her eyes out after the breakup. It might just be me, but I can’t get over their intense chemistry in ‘Secret’ and I think they carry their good friendship into this drama, and it turns out to be as lovable and equally strong.

      And I think I have to do an honorable mention of Park Seo Joon here, I already loved him since ‘One Warm Word’ but he blew my mind when he cried listening to Jisung/Dohyun. I can feel him at that moment, and it’s rare considering how meddlesome he seems to be in his character as Rijin’s oppa (to me). And his reaction to Yona calling him oppa was precious!

  12. Lurcking the posts for a long time I just want to say that I’m absolutely NOT functionnal since ep 15…. This drame just blew off my mind…

  13. U just saved my world from untimely death as a result of waiting…I almost died while waiting for this recap. Thanks for the prompt recap,, really appreciate it.

  14. Remembering Do Hyun and Ri On’s conversation at the end will always bring me in tears I think. Do Hyun’s line, and both men crying just gets to me. The message in those words that Do Hyun said is really strong and as someone said here in the comments, can be sent to people who have been abused.

    This is such a sad episode, literally tears everywhere but all for ‘good’ reason. I think that whole break up thing isn’t all that idiotic as per kdrama standard. I really wouldn’t be surprised if in the end they choose to have some time alone because they trigger the bad memories to each other. (And this reminds me so much of their characters in Secret, it’s crazy when they are together because of their character’s connection). I just really hope for a ‘happy’ and ‘healthy’ ending for our OTP, be it for them to be together or not. But of course I want them to be together and have beautiful babies together hahaha.

    Thanks for the recap and the wonderful insights! I agree with the whole Jun Pyo and Do Hyun holding hands thing, they seem to be in a good father-son relationship before but things got messed up when they went to the mansion. I can only sigh because of the sad life these people lead.

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