Kill Me, Heal Me has such a strange pull to it. I did not expect to be sucked into the black hole of squeeing (and waiting for new episodes each week like a lost girl) this early into the drama, but that was exactly what it has turned me into: a rabid fangirl. Again. Urgh! Although the show is not without its flaw (which drama is flawless nowadays?), it makes up with so much heart that drives me breathless, literally. What’s better is that the drama knows how to throw the bait to the viewers, luring us with clues while making us even more curious about the whole secret hidden in the forgotten past. I’m now in doubt whether my guesses were wrong…again. Not that I’m complaining..not at all!

[Episode 5]

Se-gi wasn’t too keen on learning that Ri-jin was more excited to see Do-hyun than him (notice how his eyes slightly changed when he’s annoyed!) and warned her not to get angry, as he didn’t know what would happen. Although time was like a luxury for him, he didn’t really worry about that since he felt that he would be able to use Do-hyun’s time as his own. Ri-jin recalled what Dr. Seok said about the alters gaining more strength to be able to coexist with the main personality and Se-gi didn’t really put her worry to ease: he happily informed her that Do-hyun was put to sleep for the time being and she had to follow him if she didn’t want to see Do-hyun die.

He made her sit in the flaming red car (and he’s being careful not to hit her head against the car roof!) and soon zoomed through the highway, with Ri-jin screaming at him, telling him to pull over. Se-gi grabbed the phone from her grip and threw it out of the car, prompting Ri-jin to take Do-hyun’s phone…before he threw that out too. Pwahahahaha! He only wanted to get rid of the things that interfered between them!

Dr. Seok’s face showed how worried he was and it was not only because Ri-jin did not answer his call; someone saw a man who resembled Do-hyun took Ri-jin out of the hospital. He wanted Secretary Ahn to report it to the police, but the secretary was not going to jeopardize the whole company and Do-hyun. It’s not that he didn’t think of the danger Ri-jin was in (considering that Se-gi was with her and it was the second time she’s involved with Do-hyun’s dangerous outings), as he already ordered his trusted people to track those two down.

Ri-jin realized that they had arrived at a hotel and she could only see couples around them! Ohhhh Se-gi, what were you thinking? He actually wanted her to choose between him and Do-hyun this time and threatened to kill himself if Ri-jin leave. Se-gi couldn’t really get angry at Ri-jin: he went “SHUT…up.” at her but still, he’s cheesy as always, proven by this line: “How about giving it a try to see into my heart. Don’t you ever feel curious about it? What is it really inside me?” No one can beat him at throwing cheesy lines and making them sound cool. Secretary Ahn had received the information about Se-gi and Ri-jin currently at Shinhwa Hotel in Yongin and ordered the private investigator to make their targets’ safety their top priority.

The hotel sure looked like a prison to Ri-jin but she didn’t have any other choice at that moment except to follow Se-gi. Well, the first thing she saw in the suite reserved by Se-gi was a big teddy bear sitting on the bed, and Se-gi answered her questions with a deadpan expression: the bear was there because she liked it. Ummm excuse me? He realized that she didn’t really like the bear and showed her another thing that might suit her taste..and it turned out to be a train set. Did he get a personality transplant with a boy on the way there? He also showed her a big confession poster with Beauty and the Beast’s picture (someone watched too much Disney movies!) and became slightly angry when Ri-jin found it funny.

He was so serious in showing all the toys to Ri-jin and she tried her best to show her ‘best’ reaction to him, but she couldn’t stand it anymore, asking why on Earth was he displaying all the children’s toys in front of her. Insisting that he had to make Ri-jin choose before his time was up, he made the decision to use his last resort…which was to change into Do-hyun. Pfffft. Ri-jin was forced to go to another place with him, and yup, the Beast had changed into a prince, bringing his Beauty with him!

They headed out to the park and Ri-jin tried to talk some sense into Se-gi (with Do-hyun’s appearance) but he only remarked that the doctor’s gown started to annoy him, plus it was cold outside. At least he noticed that she dressed lightly for the sudden trip! He approached a stall selling some jackets and started causing a mess while jacket-hunting for Ri-jin, but the owner was intimidated by Se-gi and arranged them back obediently. He laid his eyes on a parka worn by the owner and thought that it looked warm. The next thing we know, both Ri-jin and him were wearing identical parkas, walking around while arguing about the money Se-gi just spent (which belonged to Do-hyun, of course).

Se-gi defended himself: although Do-hyun and him were two different persons, Do-hyun’s money was still his too, since the rich boy’s role was to earn money, while he’s the one who spent the money. Heh. Ri-jin said that Do-hyun had to suffer because of his action and Se-gi insisted that he also suffered in Do-hyun’s place. He couldn’t get angry at Ri-jin again (why do I find that gesture cute?) and Ri-jin thought that he was going to choke her, but he was only trying to put the hood on her head and gave her a warm bottle of coffee, before walking away. Awwwwwwh was he suddenly feeling shy for his gesture?

Ri-jin followed him from behind and found him sitting in Cinderella’s pumpkin carriage (or just a normal carriage?). She wondered if he was sulking and made a comment that an alter also know how to sulk, which earned her a good glare from Se-gi. HAHAHAHA! They were actually waiting for the fireworks show to start and Ri-jin joined Se-gi in the carriage, asking how he knew that she loved fireworks. He used his usual line (“You wanted to see it…since a long time ago.”) and Ri-jin was getting used to it, but she recalled what Do-hyun asked her before and thought that she might have resembled Se-gi’s dead first love; however, he just said that his first love didn’t die, and she was still alive, thankfully. He said that while looking straight at Ri-jin. She broke the stare to look at the fireworks but Se-gi continued to look at her intently.

Se-gi: Do you like the present this time?

Ri-jin: (Nods) Is there any person who hates fireworks?

Se-gi: Isn’t it nice if it continues like this forever?

Ri-jin: You’re right.

Se-gi: Me too. I would like it if I can stay with you forever.

Ri-jin corrected him, saying that she was talking about the fireworks, but Se-gi told her his wish, which was to help him to get rid of Do-hyun so that the owner of the body won’t be able to wake up forever. Ri-jin finally understood what Do-hyun meant by Se-gi asking for her help, and Se-gi did not wish to share his precious time with Do-hyun anymore. Although she said that she couldn’t do it, he vowed to make her do it, and leaned in slowly to kiss her. It was somehow bittersweet; from how Se-gi was slightly hesitating of losing his time with Ri-jin, to his determination to change her mind and lastly, the single tear he shed as he left Do-hyun’s body to the owner. My heart is in pain.

Do-hyun regained control of his body and broke the kiss with Ri-jin with the fireworks exploding in the background (and in their hearts!). He asked why she was there with him, as Secretary Ahn arrived at the park to find the two of them. Ri-jin jumped out of the carriage, but Do-hyun managed to catch her (using the same way Se-gi caught her in front of the hospital!) to fish out more details from her. He was concerned about her and started to chide her, but the private investigators got hold of him, thinking that he was still Se-gi. Ri-jin excused herself but Do-hyun told Secretary Ahn to escort her back to the hospital safely since she was probably still in shock.

Dr. Seok was relieved to see that Ri-jin had returned safely and thought that she should take a short rest at home although she had agreed not to meet Do-hyun anymore. Ri-jin was affected by the kiss, as she couldn’t stop thinking about Se-gi’s request and her racing heart made her upset. She was also confused: who did her heart beat for? Do-hyun or Se-gi? Do-hyun couldn’t forget that moment too, as he kept reminiscing the short moment his lips met Ri-jin’s and her face, so close to his.

Do-hyun and Dr. Seok met outside the hospital to keep the secret intact, and were they meeting at a garden where couples went for dates? Awkward. He was informed that Ri-jin had taken a short break, but Do-hyun was now sure that Ri-jin was indeed Se-gi’s first love, judging from his sudden confession and how Ri-jin would always be around each time Se-gi appeared. He thought that Ri-jin might be the switch for the change to happen, and the three of them: Se-gi, Ri-jin, and him, might had met in his forgotten past. Dr. Seok advised him that despite Ri-jin being a possible trigger for the personalities to appear, there’s no doubt that the other personalities had gotten stronger and Do-hyun had to be frank with himself in order to protect people around him.

Something was waiting for him at the office: a mountain of scripts to be reviewed by the order of President Ki-joon. Although he said that it was just his own way of identifying his people’s strength and weaknesses (including their mental health, as he stressed on), Ki-joon firmly stated that he’s trying to figure out Do-hyun through the task. Oooof. He’s scary, especially when no one knows how much he knows! Do-hyun decided to accept the task and loaded them all into his car, but the teddy bear from Se-gi’s event for Ri-jin found its way to him thanks to Secretary Ahn.

Ri-jin couldn’t even concentrate on her meal back home since Do-hyun and Se-gi’s faces kept appearing in her soup alternately, smiling at her while wondering who would be her choice. The images of Se-gi and Do-hyun sitting in front of her turned out to be Ri-on and Daddy Oh, who urged her to eat. Mama Ji told her husband to bring Ri-on out and fetch some wood after seeing that Ri-jin could not eat anything.

As for Do-hyun, he started looking through the things Se-gi left behind after his recent outing, from dissecting the teddy bear to find anything dangerous, to surprising himself with the bear jukebox. Hehehehe. He put them back in a box but couldn’t take his eyes (and hands) off the couple parka. He eventually decided to keep it in his closet, while mumbling that it wasn’t because of lingering affection but because he felt that it was a waste to throw it away. His heart started beating faster again at the thought of Ri-jin…

…and Ferry Park appeared. Woohoohoo! He got the chance to dress to nines, wearing his flower shirt and white suits, together with the gold necklace. Nice. Ferry was curious about the person who made his heart race before but he couldn’t care less for now, as he had something more important to do. Meanwhile, Ri-jin had taken her frustration outside the house through chopping some firewood as Ri-on’s trying his best to blurt out a song (and he’s carrying a guitar!) Ri-jin was craving for some soju but they had to keep it a secret from their father, who thought that the liquor was inferior to his freshly brewed beer.

We found out where Ferry was actually heading to, as Do-hyun’s car arrived in front of Ssangri aka Ri-jin’s house. Eh? How did he know where she lived? But this was Ferry, who was still surprised that the car was an imported one and he couldn’t drive it well. Pwahahahaa! I feel bad for this ahjusshi! He took out a name card from his pocket to confirm that the place was indeed Ssangri, and the smell of the alcohol made him excited. Unfortunately, the excitement made him weak and he started to experience headache. Although he tried to take small steps while pleading for more time, he eventually passed out after his short appearance. Nooooo don’t go yet!

Do-hyun regained consciousness and found himself in an unknown place thanks to Ferry. The twins were walking back home from the nearby shop, bearing two large soju bottles for their drinking session. Suddenly, Ri-on spotted a car shaking in front of their house and laughed. LOL was he thinking that a couple was shagging inside the car? They decided to spy on the couple and peeped through the window, only to see Do-hyun trying to change the clothes back to his usual style. He tried to make himself unrecognized but Ri-on knocked on the window, so he had to open it. He saw Ri-jin and they nearly made it known that they recognized each other (I LOVE Do-hyun’s shell-shocked face), but Ri-on beat them, exclaiming “Ferry Park!” excitedly. Huh?

The family gathered around the table together with Do-hyun (who didn’t drink his beer at all) and Daddy Oh asked why he had to change his clothes outside their house before coming in. Was he a pervert? HAHAHA! Ri-on introduced Ri-jin as the little sister whom Do-hyun met at the airport. Ri-jin was curious about their first encounter and Ri-on told them the fateful meeting he had with Do-hyun…

It was during Do-hyun’s journey back to Korea and the person who boarded the plane was Se-gi. Ri-on described him as a man with distinct pose from the ordinary men, who boldly put his legs on the table, left a video message to himself, and bravely told Ri-on off when he kept staring at him. Daddy Oh wondered how he ended up being close with such a scary man, and Ri-on continued his story, right after Se-gi fell asleep and he himself took a nap after a glass of wine. It turned out that Ferry Park appeared and tried to steal Ri-on’s wine, giving Ri-on a good surprise. Ferry was craving for the wine and offered to exchange drinks, and Ri-on was instantly attracted to the friendly man who uttered “Bravo!” instead of “Cheers!” when he drank the wine. The man even made soju bombs on the plane and Ri-on had to give his father’s name card in order to introduce Ferry to the best brewery in the entire nation.

Do-hyun himself paid full attention to Ri-on’s story, because he couldn’t even remember what happened on the flight. When asked about his dialect, he only said that he got rid of it. Haaa. Daddy Oh told Ri-jin to go to the underground storage room and fetch his special brew of beer for Do-hyun, but she was hesitating to go alone. She tried to bring Do-hyun along but the parents didn’t want to let their guest go yet. Ri-on received a message from his editor and stepped outside for a while, so Do-hyun was left to answer the questions from the parents, like “Your name’s Ferry, so are you a Korean from overseas?” “No, I just lived abroad since I was little.” Mama Ji was using formal speech and he even told them to lower their speech. Awwww yesss!

Suddenly, he received a text message from Ri-jin, who taught him to make excuse for a toilet break and go outside. It seemed that Ri-jin’s using her old trick, as Daddy Oh could see through it and just let Do-hyun go out, but he held on Do-hyun’s phone. Polite Do-hyun couldn’t say anything and handed over his phone to the parents. Ri-jin brought him to the basement and put a piece of firewood as a door stopper, before beginning her talk session. She assured Do-hyun that Ri-on didn’t know about his DID although his alters met her brother. But then, Do-hyun denied coming there to see her and Ri-jin lashed at him for being too honest. He still had something to talk about with her and removed the makeshift door stopper to give them some privacy, but Ri-jin belatedly told him that the door’s broken and it could only be opened from the outside. Cue Do-hyun’s mental breakdown moment!

Daddy Oh confiscated Do-hyun’s phone because he wanted to see what kind of guy Do-hyun was, since he saw Do-hyun’s exchanging glances with Ri-jin. Hehehehehe! Mama Ji thought that Do-hyun was an innocent kid with a kind smile, so his family must have taught him well. Ummm you might have to consider the family part, because Do-hyun’s family was a dysfunctional one. At the Seungjin’s family villa, Chairman Seo confronted Madam Shin about Do-hyun’s father, while Madam Shin recalled the good treatment she received back then compared to her current state inside the household. The chairman made it clear that the secret Madam Shin thought would be her ticket to a greater place, but Chairman Seo warned her that it would only become a torture for Do-hyun.

Madam Yoon told her husband about Madam Shin’s threat and her husband thought it might have something to do with Do-hyun’s father. The late Chairman Cha had once severed his family ties with Jun-pyo and favoured Phis daughter-in-law, President Min Seo-yeon over his own son, to the point of making her as the company’s president instead of Jun-pyo. President Min was rumoured to have another child but nothing was known about the child; however, the suspicious things happening in the household such as the fire and the personnel change at the villa after the fire might had suggested that there was something that the late Chairman Cha wished to be kept hidden.

And we’re back to the guessing game, because Ri-on’s scene overlapped with the mention of the late President Min’s child. He was sending a mail to his editor and called him to confirm his email, not forgetting to inform the person about him starting his new novel since he had found a new subject. Oy oy Ri-on, you’re so acting like a shady and dangerous man at this point!

The door to the storage was still unopened despite Do-hyun’s fervent attempt to unlock it, and Ri-jin, who had started drinking, told him to stop trying as there’s no use. She teased Do-hyun, addressing him as Mr. Cha since Se-gi didn’t want to hear his name, so she settled with Mr. Cha for Do-hyun and Mr. Shin for Se-gi. She explained that she drank because she was scared, and the place she was most fearful of was the basement. Do-hyun just smiled hearing her story and remarked that he too, had the same fear. Ri-jin was given the task to retrieve the beer from the room because her father wanted her to overcome her fear, and she soon realized that the smell of wood inside the room made her fears disappeared. She laughed a little too much while telling Do-hyun about Ri-on’s scaredy cat self and fall on her back.

Do-hyun pulled her up and their faces where inches from each other, causing their hearts to race again. Do-hyun doubted that it was his heart who was beating, while Ri-jin was confused about who made her heart to react like that. She asked him if he was Se-gi, and Do-hyun brought her face closer to his.

Do-hyun: Oh Ri-jin, are you still getting confused between Se-gi and me? Should I make it not confusing for you?

Despite his doubt about his own heart, Do-hyun leaned in closer, determined to prove that he’s different from Se-gi…

[END of Episode 5]

Wait, that was it?! Not fair!! I thought we’re going to get another kiss, but that seems like a generous thing to have two kisses between a couple who isn’t yet a romantic couple! The drama is getting more intense, with more clues and of course, more things to get confused about.

Beauty and the Beast aside, I am now sure that deep down, Se-gi is just another innocent soul who is almost clueless about right or wrong. The scene in which he showed all the toys to persuade Ri-jin into choosing him was just like a young boy who gave his favourite toys to a girl he liked. His physique might be a 28-year old man but his innermost thoughts resembles that of a 7 year old boy. It won’t be a surprise if the alters do not really have distinct characteristics deep down, because they all boil down to the original Do-hyun. What I mean is Se-gi, for instance, might embodies the wild and rebellious side of Do-hyun, which he keeps hidden within himself, but the personality is also where he stores his ugly memories during his childhood, leading the alter to sometimes act like the child version of him. DID itself is a difficult thing to deal with, so it’s worth looking forward to how the writer will explain the alters’ behaviour in this drama’s context.

The preview! Gaaah that made me even more impatient for episode 6 and finally, Yo-sub is making his first appearance onscreen! I do wish for Ferry to have longer scenes because he’s one funny guy to spend time with. But actually, I’m not really complaining; I still get to see Ji Sung! Muahahahahaha~

And the OTP is ❤

I can’t stop thinking about Ri-on, so I’m going to spill my thoughts here. His eyes and actions tell that he is putting on an act. He surely knows Ferry is the same person as Do-hyun but I initially thought that their encounter on the plane was the reason for Ri-on to have a growing interest on the fascinating, chameleon-like man beside him, but he already have the clear folder containing the news clippings of Do-hyun, so he’s known him way before that. I hope he’s not resorted into stalking Do-hyun, because I want to see how Do-hyun fares with a male friend too, and Ri-on seems like a suitable person to be friends with. Watching his short interaction with Ferry makes me hope that he won’t be the bad guy.

Ri-on’s suspicious action also makes him being suspected as the missing child of President Min, Do-hyun’s adopted mother. Honestly, there aren’t many clues yet to pinpoint who the child is and who the father is, but I am leaning more towards Ri-jin than Ri-on. But then, it’s still early to be 100% sure, as we don’t really know the story from Ri-on’s perspective, which will be a big piece of puzzle in finding out who he really is. One thing I am sure that the hidden secret and the forgotten past will not be beautiful; it might be ugly and horrifying, enough to make an 8-year old boy forgot everything he experienced at that time. Basement and children….ah, my heart is aching just from imagining all the possibilities, plus the preview of Do-hyun’s mother, Madam Shin, cleaning Nana’s drawing, made me even more uneasy 😦