Kill Me, Heal Me – Episode 7

This episode gets me wondering about one thing, that is how hard it was to keep his issue as a secret for the past 11 years. It is remarkable that he managed to hold on for that long, living his life without opening up to other people, save for his secretary and his shrinks. He might have never encountered someone who willingly holds out a hand towards him, offering the comfort he needs. I can’t blame him for being cautious with the people around him, because his immediate family cannot even function as the bomb shelter he needs. He is indeed lucky to encounter Ri-jin, who won’t judge him based on his mental issues and accepts him for what he is, multiple personality or not.

[Episode 7]

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As Madam Shin was cleaning the drawing made by Nana, the housekeeper saw her doing so while pleading for Do-hyun not to remember ‘that child’. The episode opens with Secretary Ahn making a visit to the bookstore to buy Omega’s books and Ri-on approached him, saying that the mysterious writer had a CG-like face according to the rumours. Heeeee he’s sure enjoying his anonymity to the max! The secretary also made a request to the editor who worked with Omega since Do-hyun wanted to meet the writer at least once. He saw the chairman’s car in front of the company’s building and it turned out that Chairman Seo wanted to see Secretary Ahn.

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At the same time, Do-hyun walked out of the building looking different from his usual self, holding his hands together as he looked around like it was a foreign place to him. Secretary Ahn saw him through the mirror but he couldn’t do anything since Chairman Seo had started to attack him with the question about Do-hyun: she wanted to know if there’s any problem with that guy. Do-hyun made a complete transformation into Yo-sub (glasses, mushroom hair, and all) and reached a rooftop, bringing along a bag full of spray cans. He was looking at the vast view in front of him when he received the call from Ri-jin.

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He introduced himself to Ri-jin while drawing his dying message, telling her that he would take all of them with him, perhaps turning the sky into their graveyards. Ri-jin tried to talk some sense into Yo-sub and he challenged her to come and find him in an hour; if she’s late even by a mere second, they would all disappear together with him. He hung up and Ri-jin tried to call Secretary Ahn, but the secretary was being interrogated by Chairman Seo. She was curious about the reason why Do-hyun suddenly returned to the country after 11 years of exiling himself, wondering if he had a woman anywhere. She knew that Do-hyun was hiding something from her. Uh-oh, would you tell her or not, Alfred Ahn??

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Ri-jin chose to call Dr. Seok as her professor knew about Yo-sub and she learned more details about the 17 year-old boy: he’s Yo-na’s genius twin brother who longed for suicide and loved drawing. The last one rang a bell and Ri-jin realized that the clanking sound she heard earlier was from the spraying cans. Dr. Seok suggested that Yo-sub might be on a building’s rooftop but it couldn’t be at Do-hyun’s office, since the intelligent kid knew that many people would recognize him there. Ri-jin was growing more uneasy since time was running short and she was heading towards Do-hyun’s office when he saw something on the top of a building. Yeah, that was Yo-sub, standing on a building’s rooftop!

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Chairman Seo also knew that Ki-joon had been meeting Dr. Seok and it was a revelation to Secretary Ahn. She was not going to find out what Do-hyun’s secret was; in fact, the only thing she cared about was for the secret to be hidden from Ki-joon’s father, since she needed Do-hyun to be someone without any problem until her son woke up. She’s sure obsessed with her son. Yeah, the one you wanted to be without problem was pacing back and forth on someone’s rooftop, waiting for the moment to kill himself!

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Ri-jin reached the area nearby Do-hyun’s office and thought that Yo-sub must had bought some art supplies at the art supplies shop. She pictured the kid walking towards a place where he could leave his dying message and jump afterwards, before figuring out that his destination was a building currently undergoing renovation work. Meanwhile, Yo-sub did stick to his promise to wait for Ri-jin but she was running late. He looked at his watch and realized that the time was over. Yo-sub took a deep breath and walked towards the edge, holding out his hands as he closed his eyes, ready to greet the sky…

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But then, Ri-jin made it to the rooftop and her screaming “NOOOOOO!” put a halt to Yo-sub’s attempt to jump, and the kid was shaken for a split second, tears brimming in his eyes. He turned around, facing Ri-jin who chided him for trying to kill himself without asking the other alters about their opinions. She thought that he didn’t have any courage to fight for his life, but that struck a chord in Yo-sub and he wondered what did she know so well for her to be gloating in front of him. Yo-sub reminded her that she already abandoned Do-hyun and she shouldn’t be late if she really wanted to save him. Ri-jin was late and a game’s still a game, so the time’s over for her. Ri-jin couldn’t continue to hold her hand out towards him when the kid had no intention of holding to her and she resorted to a more aggressive approach, that was to drag him off the edge.

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Yo-sub pushed her and she was hit by falling steel pipes, causing her head to bleed. Poor Ri-jin ㅠㅠ (And Yo-sub, you bad, bad kid! Se-gi will be mad at you if he knows about this!) He was astonished but didn’t give up on his intention, and thank God we got someone like Ri-jin, who never gave up: she climbed onto the edge, bleeding head and all, and dragged Yo-sub down with her towards the floor. She started calling Do-hyun’s name, shaking his body to wake him up while pleading for him to come out. Yo-sub was at the verge of passing out, as the drifting Do-hyun inside the body started to regain his consciousness after hearing Ri-jin’s cries calling his name. He woke up with Ri-jin’s bloody face hovering in front of him, crying that he couldn’t let Yo-sub kill him.

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Do-hyun grabbed Ri-jin’s hand and told her that he’s Do-hyun. Tears, tears everywhere! She breathed with great relief but then hit him, asking why he did that to her before crying for her mom. Do-hyun watched her through his tears and wiped her tears before hugging Ri-jin, his saviour. *sobs*

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He ended up in Dr. Seok’s room and the psychiatrist was trying to avoid himself from blaming Do-hyun for what happened. Do-hyun told him to spill the beans and he came clean about the offer he gave to Ri-jin after Do-hyun requested for her to become his secret doctor. Dr. Seok reminded him that it was dangerous for Ri-jin and it was the second time she was admitted to the ER. He pleaded for Do-hyun not to make his rivalry with Se-gi deeper by dragging Ri-jin between them, but Do-hyun told him about what happened on the rooftop.

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Do-hyun: During the time when Yo-sub took over my body, I could hear Oh Ri-jin’s voice. She called my name fondly. I woke up because of that voice. That was the first time for me to have such experience. At that time, I had the thought that maybe deep down, I wished that someone would call me like that when they took over. Is it greed? Is it impossible? At this rate, should I just continue to live as a monster?

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Even Dr. Seok couldn’t hold his tears. ㅠㅠ

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Do-hyun was sitting at the place where he saw Se-gi at the hospital when Ri-jin joined him, wondering if he’s seeing someone in the reflection of his. She was still angry at Yo-sub (heh) and she got excited when he suddenly asked whether she would like to be rich. She thought that he would be compensating her for knowing his secret but Do-hyun reminded her that it came with a price; everyone who became rich after meeting him ended up leaving his side.

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Do-hyun: It was sad for me when I was young, and I wondered why people wanted to be rich and refused to become my friends. I realized it when I got older; it was very wise of them to do so. If they become my friends, they could be in danger. After learning about my condition, I don’t make any friends. Instead, I build a wall around myself and made a castle, locking myself inside it. I get rid of any emotions. If I make you rich, I initially thought that I could make you stay beside me without any lingering affection. But then, I have no confidence. Oh Ri-jin, I’m taking back the offer to make you my personal doctor. You’re like a ball that is accidentally being thrown into a castle where a monster lives. I’ll throw the ball out, so please leave my castle. Leave and never look back again. […] Whatever you saw, heard, or felt during the course of your stay inside the castle would be compensated and you’ll become rich. Please erase all your curiosity and sympathy, if you have any. I am not a beast who will return into a handsome prince after the curse has been lifted. I am just…a monster.

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He walked away afterwards but he didn’t look too happy about it, while Ri-jin couldn’t stop thinking about what she heard from Do-hyun. Mister, you’re not a monster!

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The day started as usual for Do-hyun, getting ready for work, except that he suddenly got a call from his mother. Madam Shin asked if he still had nightmares these days, as he was found sleeping in the cellar the last time he went home and he couldn’t even drink. He recalled his dream on that night, which included Ri-jin, and told his mother that he didn’t have any nightmare. Madam Shin couldn’t let the matter go easily and decided to find President Min’s child through a private investigator, reminding the PI to make his move without attracting other people’s attention.

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Ri-on made a visit to the publishing house’s office to meet his editor (cameo by Heo Ji-woong), who seemed to be one of the few people that was aware of his pseudonym Omega. He didn’t wish to reveal his real identity and decided to reject Do-hyun’s request to meet him. The editor had read his new novel’s draft and loved it, to the point of unable to sleep because he was so curious about what’s going to happen next. Ri-on gave his editor a brief overview of the novel, which sounded a lot like our hero’s life story. The novel started from 21 years ago, when a child was adopted but lost all memories prior to being adopted. The child’s adopted family had another child, who became the adopted child’s twins. The adopted kid learned about his/her true identity after accidentally overhearing his/her parents’ conversation. The grown-up kid also got to know that his/her lost memories were related to a certain chaebol family and for the sake of finding those memories, the kid started to infiltrate the chaebol family secretly, using a man who was of the same age as him/her.

While Ri-on was telling the story to the editor, the scene followed his mother into his room and she suddenly opened the backboard to see the content, to reveal a board full of..

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..not-so-decent girls’ pictures. HAHAHAHAHA! He won’t leave the evidence lying around, would he? The editor guessed that it wasn’t really a fiction, judging from how Ri-on went all the way to the US to gather his materials. Ri-on didn’t explain much, except that he had to dig more in order to determine whether it would be a fiction or not. Ohhhhh~

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Secretary Ahn ran into Ri-on when he was meeting the editor and learned that Ri-on was the President of Writer Omega’s Fan Club. He reported to Do-hyun that the writer had rejected the request for Do-hyun to meet him, but they might be able to meet him through the fan club. Do-hyun prepared himself to go out and he actually had a blind date arranged by Chairman Seo. He told Secretary Ahn not to look at him with pity and he will come back after finishing the meeting properly.

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Chae-yeon and Ki-joon also happened to have a lunch arranged with both sides of their families but Ki-joon was running late. When Chae-yeon called him, he only said that he had an important appointment and couldn’t attend the lunch. If that was not enough for her, Chae-yeon overheard Ki-joon’s parents talking about Do-hyun’s potential marriage with another chaebol family’s second daughter. What’s better than gatecrashing someone else’s date when you’re feeling low? That was what Chae-yeon did, interrupting Do-hyun’s meeting with his potential marriage partner and told the lady about Do-hyun not being as pure as he seemed to be, because he was in a relationship with a certain doctor. That sure made the meeting went down an awkward route, but she just left the scene. HA. Was that her revenge because Do-hyun rejected her?

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That certain doctor was no other than Ri-jin, but she already packed her belongings to leave for the US. Dr. Seok couldn’t meet her eyes because he certainly felt guilty about not telling her the whole story of Do-hyun, but Ri-jin had made her choice. He wished her all the best and told her, “A psychiatrist is not a saviour. There’s no way we can save everyone, so you can’t have such illusion to become a psychiatrist. If you have something weighing on your mind, if that’s your sympathy or not, get rid of them and come back.” That got her thinking and she accidentally hit someone with her box full of her things. That someone was Ki-joon…and what’s he doing at that hospital??

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Dr. Seok couldn’t stop thinking about what Do-hyun said before and he felt torn in between Do-hyun and Ri-jin, but a knock on the door sent him scrambling for his seat at once. He thought that Ri-jin had come back to ask him something, but it was actually Ki-joon. He asked Dr. Seok directly about Do-hyun, determined to find out what type of help did Do-hyun get from him, or in simpler words: what was exactly Do-hyun’s problems? He might had failed in getting the information he needed and went to find Ri-jin, but he realized that he had missed her earlier.

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Do-hyun was driving back to his office when he passed by the building where Yo-sub tried to commit suicide and he recalled Ri-jin’s attempt to wake him up. Meanwhile, Ri-jin was actually on the rooftop, sweeping off the snow to reveal all the paintings made by Yo-sub. Do-hyun then decided to turn back and went to the rooftop, but Ri-jin was gone; the only thing left was a snowman she built from rolling the snow on the floor. Do-hyun realized that Ri-jin also changed the dying message, from KILL ME to HEAL ME.

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Way to be literal with your title, show, but it was a nice touch for Do-hyun, who’s on his way towards healing!

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Ri-on was striking a pose at the airport, walking around like he’s on a runway but it was not him who’s going to board the plane; it was Ri-jin, on her day to leave for the US. Daddy Oh and Mama Ji were sad that their only daughter was leaving but Daddy Oh even prepared a list of gifts he would like to have. LMAO! Ri-jin suggested that they take a picture and Daddy Oh pulled out a selfie stick from his pocket. Hahaha! Ri-on could only hide his face in embarrassment..

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..but then, he pulled out a longer selfie stick from his own pocket. Pwahahahahaha!

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Then, the four of them danced around to take their pictures while cheering “John Hopkins!” over and over again. Gotta love this quirky family!

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It was time for Ri-jin to leave and Ri-on gave her a surprise gift: a pair of shoes with wings, complete with his words of wisdom, “If you ever regret your decision or it gets hard for you, run away and come back, elegantly and with class. Fly with all your might! You know, right? The best decision is your decision.” I can’t blame Ri-jin for giving her brother a big bear hug and saying that she loved him, but it might be a bit too much for Ri-on to handle!

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Do-hyun could only look at the sky from his house and bid Ri-jin goodbye, knowing that she was on the afternoon flight. He told Secretary Ahn to choose a male personal doctor for him since it would be difficult for him to have a female doctor. They were about to head back to the office when someone was punching in the password to enter the house and Do-hyun asked his secretary if there’s another person who knew the password.

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AND IT WAS RI-JIN! OMG I totally thought that she’s gone and they’re fast-forwarding to six months later or something, but she’s there! Oh Ri-jin!! Do-hyun was utterly surprised to see her there with all her luggage and she introduced herself as his new personal doctor. Awwwww yeah! Secretary Ahn knew about this and apologized that it wasn’t a male doctor as requested. Heeeeee! Ri-jin explained that her skills were still lacking and she couldn’t really put either Mr Shin or Mr Cha to sleep, so she would have to reject that request. However, she’s willing to facilitate the communication between Do-hyun, Se-gi, and the rest of his alters. He couldn’t even ask any question, still reeling from the shock, and we got to hear Ri-jin’s apology to her family.

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Ri-jin: Mom, Dad, Ri-on, I’m sorry for lying. But I want to help this person, whatever it takes. For me, even with any weakness or mistake, I still have a family, but this person has no one. Whenever I am in a difficult situation or recalling a bad memory, I still have a lot of good and sweet memories with my family, but this person has nothing of such; living each second, minute, and hour before the memories fade. There are lots of people who love me, but this person can’t even hold on to the people he loves. That’s why, I want to help him. I want to take him out of the castle. And I want to let him know that he can hold out his hand if he wants to become a friend, and it is okay to hold on to a person holding out a hand to him.

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Ri-jin offered a handshake but Do-hyun was still weighing on his own decision, so she teased him that she’s going to John Hopkins, for real. He stopped her and told Ri-jin and she couldn’t take back her decision. He held out his hand and she finally accepted it, but she continued to grabbed his hand with a little too much force, causing Do-hyun to cry out in pain. She chided him, telling Do-hyun to be stronger. Kekekekeke!

Ri-jin: That why, please cheer for me, and tell me that I did a good job…just like you always do.

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And strong Ri-jin continued to crush Do-hyun’s palm in her grip. Hehehehehe!

[END of Episode 7]

I initially thought that this episode might be a bit on the heavy side after looking at the stills of Ri-jin’s bloody head but I am relieved that the light moments are still there to keep me sane. The rooftop scene was a heart wrenching one but the aftermath, especially Do-hyun’s confession and long speech to push away Ri-jin, were even sadder.

The fairytale motif continues to appear after the comic book reference (Batman and Alfred!); first it was Cinderella (and her pumpkin carriage) and in this episode, Beauty and the Beast. Ri-jin did mention about the tale early into the series but Do-hyun/Se-gi takes it to another level, assuming the role of the Beast. While Se-gi sees himself as the Beast, Do-hyun treats himself worse than the Beast. But then, he still has the spirit to get himself cured instead of giving in to his alters.

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For now, Ri-jin is Do-hyun’s saviour but I’m sure we’ll see Do-hyun battling his inner selves soon, because it is basically his own battle. Like what Dr. Seok said before, he must be honest with himself first in order to solve the puzzle of his own self, divided into several pieces of his fragmented self. It is like opening up a Pandora’s box; no one can guess what will be the outcome and it might not be pretty at all, but it is the first step for Do-hyun to embrace himself and embark on the journey to heal his mind.

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And Ri-jin…OMG she is just amazing, strong-willed, and never give up, if the first episode isn’t enough for us to see her strength. It is not easy for someone to choose psychiatry but she made that choice, bracing herself through the risk of getting hurt by her patients. I have to say that Do-hyun is so lucky to have encountered doctors like Dr. Seok and Ri-jin, because not everyone with such illness can get the chance like him. Looks like Ri-jin’s life isn’t going to be any easier, because Yo-na’s out to wreck some havoc in the neighbourhood. We’ll see who is stronger between Ri-jin and Yo-na!

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20 thoughts on “Kill Me, Heal Me – Episode 7

      1. just finished class, off to watch it now! even though i watched the raw already. i can’t get enough of my otp(all 7 of them!) and this show!

  1. YoNa next ep.!!!!! And a possible cat fight on the streets! Oh yeah?

    So RiOn and RiJin are both adopted? I’m sure the story draft was based on RiOn’s experiences. I mean, I don’t think RiJin remembers losing memory… And still believes that she and RiOn are true twins.

    I can’t wait for tomorrow’s episode!

    1. The drama is leading us to believe the false one I think…but right now I’m just confused! It can be just like what you said too…both of them were adopted, but Ri-on stated that the family who adopted the child had another child! Gaaah so many possibilities 😮

      1. I hope that the missing child is RiOn. B/c if it isn’t RiOn… I would feel SO sorry for him! I mean, for RiOn to truly become the second lead, I feel like RiOn needs to be the missing son. If RiJin turns out to be the missing child, RiOn would become so… Disappointed? I mean he did all of that mystery research for nothing! AND he didn’t find anything about his biological family. !!!! I refuse to let that happen to my poor RiOn!
        I want an older brother like him. Except for the secret crush part. But a fun older bro.

        1. Gaaahhh that will be heartbreaking for cutie Ri-on ㅠㅠ
          I don’t have any older brother so I am smitten with the good brother Ri-on. He’s a prankster but still a supportive twin, and it’s hard not to love him. I hope he’ll be spared from the heartache and find someone else…their siblings love are too precious to be sacrificed into romantic love :3

  2. The rooftop scene was simply amazing. But here we go again with this episode making me switch OTPs. When I saw Se Gi crying while they kissed, I was like “Yup, otp!” Now I see Do Hyun and his lovely speeches and my heart cries and I am confused all over again. This drama is breaking me.

    1. Let’s just stick with Do-hyun and make the alters as side ships, shall we 😉 Spare your heart, this drama is turning us into split shippers too! It’s on a different level than the normal bipolar, first lead/second lead syndrome!

      1. At this point I’ll just go with flow. I’ll ship both and all depending on the scenes! :p I mean, I think DH will become more like SG in the end, what with pain of remembering and everything. I’m cool with that!

      2. so true, shipping is a real struggle, but after todays ep im on the DH and ri jin train all the way till the end. of course im totes gonna side ship like you suggested.

  3. thanks tons for the recap, your really fast, ugh this drama ep by ep gets better and better, just when i think i have a fav ep another one comes along. todays ep was simply amazing, it was so emotional and heart wrenching but also hilarious. im so glad they are balancing. that whole suicide rooftop scene was terrifying and so sad, poor ri jin, and poor DH and you can see when he was crying while hugging her that he found someone who actually cares. and i love ri jin, such an amazing character, she is very smart and cares a lot, lol also super strong. the 2nd rooftop scene was so beautiful and the song, i cant get over it. Dr soek and his care for ri jin as well but also how he cares for DH, is really sweet. honestly what a wonderful ep, we are also getting little clues as well to all the secrets. icant wait for Yona hahaha, the precap looked hilarious

    1. Ikr?! The episodes are getting better and the OTP is precious! They’re good when they’re together and even when they’re just thinking about each other. Seriously, it’s impossible not to love them~ I’m looking forward to Yo-na because ‘she’ is the first female alter we’ll get to see on the screen, and she will be causing troubles for Ri-jin! That reason alone is enough for us to look forward to tonight’s episode 😉

    1. I agree with everyone! I am soooo on Do Hyun and Rijin ship now… has always been. Love their chemistry and can’t wait for ep8… And then omg have to wait another week!!!

  4. I don’t know for sure but I’m considering this as my favorite episode so far (but I love ALL episodes anyway so yeah). That rooftop scene was just so good, there are indeed tears everywhere including mine.

    I’ve been seeing reactions online saying how Ri Jin as doctor kinda fails professionally lol but then this is a drama, there is no ‘perfect’ doctor, even genius doctors in dramaland fails. Anyway my point is, although professionalism does matter big time, Ri Jin fits perfectly as Do Hyun’s psychiatrist. She is more than just that to Do Hyun, she’s a person willing to be his friend, and have the courage to do so and help Do Hyun with his battle. How can you not love Ri Jin for that?

    And that whole monster in a castle thing, and when Do Hyun confessed to Dr. Seok how he wants to be called out like be someone omg so good and really heart-wrenching. This was such a good episode, love it to bits.

    Thanks again for the wonderful recap! 😀

    1. In terms of emotional episode, the episode was a powerful one..urgh I am choking just from thinking about it alone.. /sobs/

      Kekeke if we’re to argue that there’s a doctor in dramaland who abides the concept of professionalism, then we won’t have any shrink featured in dramas 😛 I think that instead of something that defines her, Ri-jin’s occupation as a psychiatrist is more of a plot device because it enables her to be aware of Do-hyun’s condition. Her intention of helping Do-hyun is just a part of her nature and she chooses to become his friend instead of a doctor. Ri-jin is just a lovable lady and she deserves all the love! (Hear that Do-hyun? Love her with all your heart!)

      That scene ;A; I have no words other than tears. Yes, his Beauty is there to save him 😀

      Hehehe you’re welcome, and thanks for commenting! The recap seems incomplete without a discussion with you 😉

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